• by Jack Feuer , May 21, 2008

Is this a great country or what?

I pick what.

No, seriously, check this out: I was on YouTube, watching episode 3 of "Hot Hot Los Angeles," the one with the girl-on-girl action. Or kind of action. Well, it's a spoof, so there wasn't any actual, you know, action. Couple seconds of blondes in a lip lock, really, is all.

Still.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was torn from the Tube by a fog of industry foolishness so powerful that it transcends commercial communication and becomes art.

Yes, of course, I'm talking about Synarchy.

Albert Einstein said, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." The Dell slave shop's putative new name should put that quote in gilt-edged lettering above its door. When it gets a door.

If Einstein were alive, he'd be a consultant. Because the lure of the laws of physics pales besides the spectacle of an entire industry making an ass of itself. And I'm not just talking about WPP choosing a name used by Nazi sympathizers.

This is marketing's silly season. You people go off the hook as summer approaches.

First, the upfront makes everybody a little loopy, even the deballed one we had last week. And the weather's getting warmer, so you're all antsy about getting out to the time share in the Hamptons. Media people, meanwhile, are trying on bathing suits in the misguided (and terrifying) belief that they'll look as good in a Speedo on the beach in Cannes as a creative director from Argentina does.

Check it out: Beleaguered JetBlue hires a PR agency, and here's the first line of the story in Ad Age: "It was almost as if it saw the toilet seat coming." Excuse me? Anyway, why is JetBlue hiring a PR agency? Shouldn't it fix its problems and then spend money on spin?

There's also an opinion piece by an African-American about how marketers don't target the black middle class. He's offended by stereotypes, and some of his best friends are white. Except for that last part, which I have no doubt is completely genuine, what part of affluent African-Americans are a key target of every single upscale, multicultural marketing campaign in the country did this guy miss?

Oh, we're just getting warmed up. Check this one: Did you see where Fallon is asking all of its staffers to donate their awards so it can melt them all down and create, like, one big giant phallic Fallon symbol or something?

And out here in Blissville, there's yet another bevy of smallish agencies fighting for an abusive Asian car account in the hope that winning it will make their bones in the Market That Memory Forgot. Right, and that worked so well for Ketchum, Suissa Miller, Davidandgoliath, Bates, Ground Zero, keye/donna/pearlstein and a million other midsized players in L.A. in the past 30 years.

Adweek, meanwhile, has discovered that set-top boxes could be important.

And then, Synarchy. I mean, seriously.

Advertising, American style. Ya gotta love it.

Well, you do. Not me. I'm checking out and going back to YouTube to watch episode 4 of "Hot Hot Los Angeles."