• by Kelly Samardak , June 27, 2008

The Advertising Club Luncheon, New York Athletic Club, New York
June 26, 2008

I received one of my favorite invitations the other day. It started with some blah dee blah about the feminine mystique (I tend to snark at these types of events, usually with my software engineering genius pal, Jessica, because we just want to be talented people, not spotlighted because we have different parts) and midway through said cocktails and networking at 11:30AM. Followed by lunch! Um, yes please.

My email interaction with Gayle Taryn, communications director of The Advertising Club, was 98% why I chose to attend. She poked fun with me at the "jackets required" note (which was 2% why I was waffling). The layer of corporate rebellion Kelly that I hadn't revealed in a while wanted to wear Speedos and a jacket. Jacket requirement fulfilled. Adult Kelly slapped me and threw me in my closet to get crackin'.

I rounded the corner of The New York Athletic Club and came face to face with an intern type in jeans. Conflict ensued. After I passed the brass dress code sign (placed so close to the revolving doors I almost fell over it), and hit the 9^th floor, I overheard the well-dressed woman the intern came with explaining to the event organizers, "Well, I saw that there was a strict dress code, but I didn't think it would be that strict..." Not only did the intern miss out on a delicious potato croquette thingy and the refreshing honesty of my favorite panelists, Perry Yeatman, senior vice president, corporate affairs, Kraft Foods, Inc., and Sheri Baron, president, Gotham, Inc., but she also has a mentor who screwed her. I still don't know if she got in.

There were two full bars set up with wine, liquor, Bloody Marys, and mimosas. I stared, indecisive. The room filled with women and the chatter grew into a comfortable hum. The dining room was filled with round tables set with crunchy Caesar salads and perfectly square cakes with red airbrushed circles. I sat down at table 14. Alone. Amory Wooden, of 50,000feet, Inc, joined me. Every other table was full and there we sat, surrounded by salads.

Dr. Bob Deutsch, cognitive anthropologist and of founder of Brain-Sells, opened with his presentation pointing out the obvious and mocking the man who says he doesn't let emotions get in the way of business decisions. "Well, that's just stupid!" Dr. Bob growled. Applause coupled with the clanking of forks on chicken legs. As he spoke, I could see other women looking at each other like "Well, duh..."

The panelists were no-nonsense, shooting-from-the-hip awesomeness. I snorted potato out of my nose when Perry Yeatman offered that hair-care decisions shouldn't be made by hairless men. Becky Quick, co-anchor of CNBC's "Squawk Box," posed one of the lamer questions of the day (there were very few!) to Trudy Hardy, marketing manager, MINI USA: "Why don't we see more women applying for jobs in the auto industry?" to which Shari laugh-answered "Because you're in Detroit!!" Trudy didn't appear amused.

I could write forever and regale you with my "please just respect me as a hard working person" blathering, but let me instead leave you with some brain sandwiches that I chewed on. First, love what you do and where you work because if you're going to be successful you're going to spend a lot of time there. Accept the tradeoffs that come with career success. Second, you can have it all, but don't expect it all at once. If men had to carry a foreign object in their bodies for 9 months and launch it out of their toilet parts, I guarantee you "having it all" would be redefined. And finally, according to the fabulous Shari Baron, "You need to get comfortable with the fact that you will only complete 80% of your list. Get comfortable with that and be GOOD at that 80%."

Oh! And on the subway on the way home a man got on, sat down and said "Great shoes!" to my pointy patent leather podiatric blister buckets.

Celebrating your diverse workforce and you want to have it covered in Just An Online Minute? Send invitations to kelly@mediapost.com

See the tasty chicken legs we ate on Flickr!