• by Kelly Samardak , September 11, 2008

I'm trying to be fair today. As I wrote this, rage burned the back of my eyes all over again. What you're about to read may be confusing. Which is fine, considering how flabbergasted I was when it all went down. I want to make a few things clear right now, before you read on. And that is that Morris + King (they've repped Stardoll.com for two years now) and a ton of other PR agencies are fantastic. They're good people. I call a handful of PR people my friends.

However, the way I was bullied, word-slapped, and yodeled at by a rep from Full Picture PR (who reps Heidi Klum and Jordache) not only clarified to me how other press/writers/journalists can abhor the PR function, but also makes me think that Heidi Klum, who was polite, sweet, and hotter than a twice-baked potato, would not appreciate someone attached to her/their brand acting like such a prime jackass. And that's not an offensive word; it's just another name for donkey.

Everyone there to party rocked. I couldn't even force someone to be rude to me -- they were obviously there to celebrate Stardoll.com's growing popularity and the beautiful and entrepreneur-minded Heidi Klum's virtual Jordache line with a smile. I saw a familiar face from JetVegas and shuffled along with dancing fiend Tom Clifton, Founder and Creative Director, Animoto. Animoto has been going through some changes, so check it out!

A very-bearded, v-necked-T-shirt-wearing fellow was hanging out with Sam Talbot, pretty boy from season 2 of "Top Chef. They might be in a band together; I couldn't tell if they were joshing. Bearded guy supposedly had a show at Mercury. Superior reporting skills, Kelly. Ring Pops littered the tables and the open bar kept everyone happy. Except for one person.

I met the bully outside of Marquee, where I regarded the paparazzi line and tried to find the list gal so I could just go in and start mingling. Bully drilled me about my level of photo access. Something about onsite... or in-site? I didn't understand her phrasing, especially since I wasn't given options, just an invitation -- from three separate people.

I'm sure the reps at Full Picture are detail-oriented in that when they invite press to cover their events, they're aware of, good golly, what sort of column they write. No? It's obvious to you all that this column includes photos, right? Ok, good, as long as we're on the same page - Just An Online Minute is about the glittery side of this industry, the people, the food, the convos, the guts of the actual party. In order for me to cover this stuff, you have to let me in. I know, it's darn near rocket science.

"You can NOT have that out," bully barked at me inside Marquee. I had already taken multiple laps, shooting away at the willing party-goers flashing their pearlies. I used my camera, not my mind, to take the photos - just to alleviate any confusion. 

The clipboard comes out, and she's holding it in the way that the clipboard instructor outside taught the other brain surgeons out at Clipboard 101. She couldn't find me on the list, probably because of the loud music, which would mean she's have to use multiple skills together: reading, listening, and standing upright. I not only RSVP'd once, but also requested and received confirmation. Bully gal barked at me again in no uncertain terms that I was not welcome.

I don't care if anyone knows "who I am," I'm really not that cool. Look at someone cool, take away 80%, and that's my coolness factor. However, if I've been invited to your party and received confirmation, I don't expect to be verbally berated and then uninvited in front of other guests. That's a valid desire in this life, isn't it?

"But your people invited me!" I probably whined. To which she responded...

Wait for it....

"Can you name my people?"

"I think it was Justin or Jesse." Turns out, it was both. But Justin isn't her people. He's good people.

"You can't even name my people, but you say you were invited to this party."

"You sent a blanket invitation to my entire company. Can you name all of the writers you invited?"

The painful back and forth continued until she announced she was not fighting with me anymore. And then she uttered my favorite phrase in the history of my job so far: "Then I'm getting security!"

She tucked that clipboard under her arm and stalked off in a haze of power-hungry PR anger. I turned to the fella next to me and said, "Listen, if she comes back with security to drag me out, you have to get a picture." Because he and everyone else inside had cameras. You know, to take photos.

Other than that, great party!

Invite me and my camera to cover your event!

The photo set has tons of pics of fashionable party people!

See if I stay out of trouble this month: I'll Twitter from jail .