• by Kelly Samardak , June 19, 2009

New York Women In Film And Television Designing Women 2009, Chelsea Clearview Cinema, New York
June 17, 2009

I am Twittered out. I don't want to hear or type tweet, twit, tweeter, twitter, twittersphere, twiteral (thanks @jimjonescapo), twanker, twestival, tw...any of it! For... at least a week! This is why it was easy for me to re-energize myself after leaving the 140 Characters Conference on Wednesday night and head directly to the Clearview Chelsea Cinema for The New York Women in Film And Television's (NYWIFT) gala. Variety co-presented the NYWIFT'S Designing Women award to Jennifer Johnson, Marianne Skiba, and Donna Zakowska. Me? I just wanted to be around people who probably didn't care that #crapsuperpowers was "trending" the other day.

There is nothing like the smell of buttery salty movie popcorn. I could be filled to the gills with hot dogs, potato salad, and water chestnuts, and I would still drown in my own mouth waterings upon tripping by a theatre. This smell wrapped itself around my melon as Gail Hilton, Content Sales Manager, Thought Equity Motion, and Rebecca Reyes of IBM slithered in with me. Once upstairs, I spied the table of single eater bags fluffed to the top with that crunchy yellow stuff and beyond that, a table of champagne in chubby plastic tumblers. Hell yes we were about to witness an award presentation in cozy kickback seats while stuffing our faces with popcorn and champagne!

A paparazzi line was set up and the flashes were already screaming as Sam Waterston of "Law & Order" (who later presented to make-up artist Marianne Skiba) sort of hop-walked by. He even stopped for my little camera, while I rubbed my greasy hand on my dress skillfully. One of the paps approached as I was complimenting Morris+King's Jennifer Moses on her very "Gossip Girl" style and snarled "is anyone in charge here?" her eyebrows went into combat mode, "Could we see about getting some better lighting over here? The cameras are having trouble focusing." It's a movie theatre. That is all.

The flashes went crazy again as Ana Gasteyer shot through in a puff of pink sequins. Suddenly, up the stairs came a rush of teeny tiny tall girls. They were the foam before the tsunami that was Blake Lively, Serena van der Woodsen from "Gossip Girl." She was later presenting to Hairstylist Jennifer Johnson. Looking every bit the Times Square flasher, Lively stalked behind the no doubt popcorn salty (attitude, people, attitude) pap line in a navy blue ruched in the sleeve belted trench. Her flawless face was pinched in a pile of irk and her blond hair was yanked severely into a ponytail. She didn't look pleased. I hope someone handed her some heat-puffed kernels, which would cheer up Attila the Hun.

Everyone piled into the theatre and the presentation began. Something felt slightly, not hugely, just slightly off. Like something was going on behind the scenes and it wasn't 100% masked, but not revealing enough, either. Like lots of lightning but no storm, you dig? Ana Gasteyer, I know her from "Saturday Night Live," did her best when interviewing the panel of winners, but they were like hostile witnesses, hesitant to yield even a millimeter of funny stories or mishaps. Just as I was getting all "lighten up, people!" I thought, hold up -- this is their livelihood. They're now in front of film and TV types - the exact people who hire them for work... do they really want to say "Remember when Chauncey's dress fell off in front of a sold out opening night on Broadway? Ha ha ha !" The quote, "...there just isn't anything funny about a f*ck up," was thrown back. I'm sure the last thing a journalist would enjoy sharing with an audience of hundreds of their peers is "hey, ha, remember when I lightly plagiarized that quote and got busted? Haw haw haw, oh the memories..."

I perked up when Gasteyer asked how digital advancements are impacting the work of the makeup and hair artists. Marianne Skiba said "HD has been my baby...now, you can even see details on the extras..." So true -- I still wig out when I see every little scrazzly hair on Seth Meyers when he's doing SNL's weekend update.

After the presentation (and one completely spilled tumbler of champagne), the gaggle of glittering and some slightly costumed guests made their way to the mezzanine. I emerged and instantly freaked out upon seeing a couple cubes of cheese and then... popcorn. I shakily mumbled to my friends "oh no... there's only popcorn" as my hypoglycemic faint started creeping on. See, I hadn't eaten all day like a genius and now it was hitting me. Thankfully, weaving in and out of the dapper John Turturro of "The Big Lebowski," "O Brother Where Art Thou?," "Transformers" and presenter to Costume designer Donna Zakowska, were spring rolls, some sort of meat on toast, and other finger plucked foods.

Probably my favorite part of the evening was when I snapped a group of ladies and one said to me "tell [name] to send that to [name]." I said, "I don't know [name]." Another woman in the group scolded me, "I think you'll find [name]'s name on your paycheck." Weird, Ken Fadner signs my paychecks. I let her know that I write for MediaPost, I don't work for NYWIFT. The group made a collective "OOOhhh!" similar to the round of "BussssTED!" that circled a room when the secretary came to squire you to the principal's office.

That's about when I began my mantra "It's almost time for the beach." By the way, it's almost time for the beach.

Send your party invitations to kelly@mediapost.com!

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