Everything I Need To Know I Learned From A Serial Killer

Contact: Everything I Need To Know I Learned From A Serial Killer

The rule of law is a hallmark of civilization, and like the original iBook, it's nifty but slow. Sometimes, you need to jump-start the system - and that's where Dexter, the acclaimed Showtime series returning this fall, comes in.

By day, Dexter Morgan is a top-notch blood specialist with the Miami PD; by night, an avenging angel who eliminates killers with élan. He's like Batman without the animal fetish.

Dexter is a moralist in a form-fitting shirt; his calling card is laser-light precision and a can-do American spirit. If he rented himself out, he'd be our leading entrepreneur. And my broker would be counting returns in hell.

Best of all, he's educative. Here's what you can learn by channeling your inner Dexter. First, it's important to right wrongs. (Extra points if, like him, you accomplish it in sportswear that highlights your dedication to free weights.) Second, everyone appreciates a pleasant coworker. The man brings doughnuts to the office! Third, family matters. Dexter treats his girlfriend's kids like gold. Fourth, stand by your principles. Dexter insists on definitive proof of guilt. He may be a vigilante, but he's thorough. The GOP yaps about mavericks and fiscal restraint; Dexter walks the walk - and he doesn't cost taxpayers a dime.

Moreover, Dexter is a brand marketer's dream. Eddie Bauer could start a new shirt line - "Killer" - while his knife collection would be the envy of Rachael Ray. In some respects, Dexter is both dream date and role model: smart, sensitive and dependable. See, TV does have redeeming value.

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