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Just An Online Minute... Dodging Orange Bullets Under The Watchful Eye Of Officer Nerful

40 Years of Nerf, Stout, New York
July 15, 2010

There are a few things from my childhood that stand out for me like a shaven monkey in a henhouse. One significant span of events includes the day that I accidentally drowned my neighbor's toad "teaching it to swim" in my red beach bucket, combined with the day I ripped every potato bug I found in half because someone told me that you could tell the sex of such a bug by the color of its blood. These events earned me the neighborhood nickname of Killer Kelly, something I wore proudly, which I probably shouldn't have. But I've always been a weirdo. I also remember Nerf, because I had male cousins, so I spent a good amount of my childhood dodging projectiles and, as you now know, killing.

And to really round out how spectacular my childhood was, it should also be noted that I was involved in a bicycle accident that robbed me of my two front teeth after turning them black, which went well with the eyepatch I was forced to wear due to my sweet lazy eye. I'm telling you, I was HOT. But let's move on before you start charging me for therapy.

I arrived at Stout on West 33rd from the sandy saucefest over at the Seaport Water Taxi Beach with only 15 minutes left in the "40 Years of Nerf" Party. This final 15 minutes were probably the best, because the familiar sound of soft bullets being locked and loaded into toy guns was clicking all over the lounge, followed by doinks and squeals and people emerging from their hiding places, running from orange flying things. A huge target was mounted on the far right wall and the floor was scattered with shells. I definitely missed the big Bonnie and Clyde shootout. 

It was an interesting crowd. The remaining Nerf-herders were toy bloggers. And I thought mine was an uphill battle for respect. I'm not sure what my parents would not get more: toy reviewer or party writer.

One such blogger was from Foam From Above Forever At Play (foamfromabove.blogspot.com), which seems to be dedicated solely to Nerf Blasters. Foam Guy was hanging out with another dude who shall remain nameless. He was photo-shy, and rightly so. Turns out Photo Shy runs a Nerf forum that was infiltrated by a certain type of person who likes to do naked things with children. Said person was kicked off the forum, which prompted him to harass and threaten Photo Shy. Face it, no one likes a pedophile.

I also met Duane Munn, Senior Producer for Sports Illustrated Kids and Richie Prafder, toy reviewer at The New York Post. Both were loading up for another shower of orange bullets. The funny thing is, I didn't even realize it until today that the guests were laughing and running and plotting out hiding spots in real life. The "gaming" wasn't happening on line with Ralph shouting at Chauncey in his headset to hide behind the blood blubbering mushroom. That's not to say that Nerf isn't in on video gaming - the Nerf N-Strike comes with a Wii game, though I'm not sure how many parents want their kids shooting at the TV.

The best thing at the party wasn't the food (because I didn't eat any of the bacon-wrapped scallops and mini burgers, not because they weren't good) -- it was the Nerf retrospective, a plexiglas case featuring Nerf throughout the decades, where I was served up with flashback after flashback. Does anyone remember the Nerfuls!? I must have stashed them in my way-back brain because when I saw that little round orangey-peach body in a police officer's outfit , I turned into my giggly, toothless, six-year-old self again.

I'm also proud to say that my birthright is 1977's Nerfman. He's green and he looks like fun. It was near the retrospective that I also met Dan Benkwitt with Hasbro PR, Nerf Design's Brian Jablonksi, Josslynne Welch from Litzky Public Relations, and Jonathan Berkowitz, Global Brand Director at Nerf. They were a very effervescent foursome.

This week, which I thought was going to be party-quiet, is already packing itself up. I've got a Belgian Independence Day party, which means Belgian beers and fries in my belly AND a boardwalk-style party with Media Whiz, which no doubt means more fries in my belly. I'm probably going to turn into french fry. The week of July 26th is even more packed, but let's push that away, way into the way back of my brain, where my eye patch still lives.

Nerf photos are up on Flickr !

 

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