• by Richard Whitman , Columnist, February 4, 2014

Oh snap! Those damn clients are stealing the agency's ideas again. When will they ever learn? Baltimore area insurance company Elephant Insurance seems to have stolen (allegedly, of course) some intellectual property from Baltimore agency GKV. The agency has filed a $4.3 million federal lawsuit against the Elephant Insurance Co. claiming the insurance brand is using brand imagery of a man with an elephant head -- imagery the agency claims to have developed. The lawsuit alleges that Elephant Insurance did not pay GKV for rights to use the agency's idea. If all of this is true, isn't it frustrating that clients still rip off agencies?

On a much more positive note, American Family Insurance, which last year signed a brand ambassador deal with Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson -- good through the end of 2014 and before he became a star on Sunday -- is high flying itself. The brand ran an ad, created by Ogilvy & Mather Chicago, in 68 local markets during the Super Bowl. And while it's unclear whether Wilson will do more ads for the brand, American Family Insurance's Myles Romero is encouraged, saying: "We have signed Russell as a brand ambassador through the end of 2014."

What a bummer. What a downer. How depressing. Really, you should just skip it. Don't read it. No, don't! I'm warning you! Oh damn. Did you read it? Are you as depressed as I am now? Okay -- for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, Ad Age just published what is perhaps the most depressing article you will ever read about Crispin Porter + Bogusky...and the industry in general. It's entitled “A Tale of Two Crispins: Why There Won't Be Another Agency of the Decade. The gist? Once they were awesome, now they are not. And really? Not another agency of the decade? That ought to motivate the industry's thin-skinned creatives beautifully! One commenter summed up the story (and the sad likelihood that there may, in fact, never be another agency of the decade, best, writing: "Two Crispins: independent Crispin and holding company-owned Crispin. Simple."

Oh, this is rich. As if agency management weren't already charged with steering the shop toward profitability, some agency had to go out and create a newfangled title for a function that should already be in place in every agency since, well, ever. Maryland-based Renegade Communications has hired former Carton Donofrio Partners CFO Dennis McKernan as the agency's new -- wait for it -- Chief Return on Investment Officer. Yeah. Chief Return on Investment Officer. Let that one sink in for a minute. It's like the CxO insanity hasn't gone far enough. What's next -- CxxxO? The porn industry will love that one .