• by Amy Corr , Staff Writer @MediaPostOTL, January 9, 2008

New Year's resolutions. Chemistry.com ads slam eHarmony. Pole dancing Knight hawks pizza. Let's launch!

Equinox launched a print and cinema campaign that asks, "What's your after?" Judging by the campaign, it involves period piece attire, flexibility and hot bodies. Where do I sign up? "Happily Ever" focuses on the individual goal a person strives to work for, no matter how fantastical, because fitness is a lifestyle. In "Figure Drawing," a living, breathing David poses for a group of young nuns to paint. "Natural Beauty" shows a plastic-surgery-free woman getting her man, despite having competition from women who have gone under the knife. A man flexes himself into a table position in another ad, with a masquerade party vibe. The cougar gets whatever she wants in "Candles." Happy Birthday to her. See the ads here, here, here and here. There's even a video that describes a thorough story line for the "Table" print ad. Conclusion: being a table is this man's after. Watch it here. Fallon created the campaign and handled the media buy.

The new year is upon us, so I have to ask. Have you seen a massive increase in the number of people at your gym? I certainly have. Once people get past making excuses, things fall into place. Which is why I love Nike's latest TV spot called "No Excuses." The 60-second ad launched New Year's Day and features a man rambling off lame excuses people use to convince themselves that it's okay to skip a workout. "I ate too much for breakfast. It makes me smell bad. I have shin splints. My favorite show is on. I have gas. I bruise easily," and "I don't want to get sweaty" are just a handful of the excuses the man mutters while he effortlessly shoots baskets. His last excuse of "Man, my feet hurt," is when the ad takes a whole new spin. Matt Scott, the star of the ad, is a member of the U.S. Paralympics basketball team, and he's in a wheelchair. 'Nuff said. Watch it here. An outdoor ad placed in New York states the simple truth about making excuses: "Yesterday you said tomorrow. Just do it." Wieden+Kennedy Portland created the campaign and handled the media buy.

Richard Simmons stars in the latest "This is SportsCenter" ad for ESPN. I can't stop smiling. Simmons and his short shorts are hired as a "Conditioning Coach" to get SportsCenter anchors in shape. An almanac is used as an oversized medicine ball in one exercise routine; Simmons barks "Type those stories, type those stories, check those sources, check those sources," in another montage. Watch the ad here, created by Wieden+Kennedy New York.

Chemistry.com launched a print campaign that targets rival online dating site eHarmony.com. It follows the theme of a previous campaign called "Rejected by eHarmony." Looks like someone else is mildly freaked out by the eHarmony spokesman. Creative questions the tactics used by eHarmony, such as its stand on premarital sex, a person's overall happiness, and the company's refusal to accept gay people as clients. See the ads here, here and here, running in The Advocate, Paper, Blackbook and Ready Made. Hanft Raboy and Partners created the campaign and Mullen handled the media buy.

Round Table Pizza launched a TV spot promoting its Big Vinnie New York-style pizza. Company spokesman Pizza Knight returns to let viewers in on the secret to offering "high quality at such a low price:" side work that involves cheesy music, velcro clothes and pole dancing. The Knight moves well for someone in armor. Watch the ad here. The spot is running in key Western markets, including Sacramento, San Francisco, Reno and Fresno. WONGDOODY created the ad and Pal 8 Media handled the media buy.

Baseball and Old Spice. What more can I say? The latest ad stars a hottie who used to be on "Days of Our Lives" (hello Peter Blake!) back in the day, who slides headfirst from second base to home plate while spewing sports lingo until he's home free. Watch the ad here. Called "Foam," the ad launched on Jan. 1  -- and if anyone can explain to me why it's got that title, I'd be grateful. Wieden+Kennedy Portland created the ad and handled the media buy.

Mac and PC morphed into animated characters for a Christmas campaign, and now the two are tackling football in the latest Apple ad. A referee keeps the peace during a debate on which operating system runs faster: Leopard or Vista. The ref sides with Mac and ejects PC after reviewing the call. Watch the ad here. The ad will run through Jan. 21 exclusively during football programs. TBWA/Media Arts Lab created the campaign and OMD handled the media buy.

Visa bowed a series of consumer print and online ads last year as part of its ongoing "Life Takes Visa" campaign. Ads offer consumers co-branded exclusive offers and content from travel and retail partners such as Banana Republic, Sony and NFLShop.com. One ad combines sports enthusiasts' love of multiple sports with pieces of a baseball, football and basketball forming one ball. "Get your game on," says the ad, seen here. Another ad creates a city skyline using a bevy of electronic gizmos. See it here. Ads are running in InStyle, HarpersBazaar, GQ, and Gourmet, among others. TBWA/Chiat/Day Los Angeles created the print campaign, AKQA San Francisco created the Web site and OMD handled the media buy.