• by Kelly Samardak , May 7, 2009

7 Minutes To Reinvent The Internet, Y&R Ney Center, New York
May 6, 2009

When you hear "7 Minutes..." without knowing what follows, what do you think of?  Me, because I'm a total pervert (and I was growing up, too)  it makes me think of "7 minutes in heaven" that glorious, and highly anticipated in my adolescent mind, coed party game where you and some random other were chosen to spend 7 heavenly minutes in a dark closet together -- left to your own sweaty hormonal devices.  Well, yesterday afternoon, VideoEgg held "7 minutes to reinvent the internet," where creative types (not ad agency "creatives") had, you got it, 7 minutes to tell the captive audience how they would reinvent the Internet (obviously, you see the name there).  I wonder if the pressure buildup ahead of time was similar to the closet situation.  How far does one go? Ideas equivalent to over the clothes or under the shirt?  Want to know who used tongue and who didn't?

The invitation said the event was to begin at 1:30 p.m.  Around 1 p.m. I booked it from 26^th to 41^st thinking I was late.  (Un)lucky for me, the start time wasn't quite 1:30, it was more like 2, but hey, that gave me time to collect eavesdroppings, which is really why you read this anyway. 

If this were the co-ed party game, I'd say everyone there wanted to be in the closet with Brian Morrissey, Digital Editor over at AdWeek.  I haven't seen him in forever, but every time I tried to catch up, Brian was accosted by another guest chattering about their product or business.  While lurking, I heard Troy Young, CMO of VideoEgg, gush to Brian, "Soooo, you've really got a good thing going there with Twitter!"  I quickly discovered through other overgrown fly on the wall hanging that Morrissey is quite the Twitter darling.

While snapping pictures of people like the effervescent Mark Spates, Jen Loomis, Katie Barrett, Shelley Gosney, John Zeman, and Denise Lovat all of of VideoEgg, Inc. I also spotted Matt Rosenberg of Big Spaceship, Mike Parker and Julie Kantrowitz of Betaware, Renae Heuer of Big Spaceship, Michael Maurillo, Senior Strategist at LBi Icon Nicholson, Whitney Browne of G2, and Miles Dennison of Tremor. 

What's this?  I stumbled upon the cocktail bar.  They weren't messing around -- they even listed special 7-minutes-inspired cocktails and passable foods.  Maybe the cozy, informal yet energetic feel with the added dash of 7&7's and Seagrams 7 whiskey and 7-up inspired some professional liplocking (stick with the analogy). 

So what did the 7 creative thinking presenters say?  I only stayed for three of them, due to the late start AND because a girl's got a job to do, but here are some sticker-outters that I think you'll enjoy. Before that, though, I should express my disappointment in missing Chief Creative Officer, Co-President, JWT North America, Troy Montague's presentation - I know JWT raises, ahem, hackles for whatever reason, and I wanted to see what gets feathers so ruffled.  Sorry kids, no razors for the cock fight. 

"I'd like to ask everyone to turn off their cellphones" - Troy Young

"But then we can't Twitter!" - Colleen DeCourcy, Chief Digital Officer, TBWA Worldwide.

Troy's presentation was adorable.  Little illustrated monster guys and the statement that The Internet Ate My Media.  You know what sucks?  Troy did a great job, was fast, colorful -- but I took notes with Google Notebook and must have forgotten to save, because yeah - I have nothing else.  You know what did save my notes? My old school PAPER NOTEBOOK.   So I captured some good blurps from Rob Norman, CEO, GroupM Interaction Worldwide.  He began his 7 minutes listing all of his roles in life.  His list was long and began gently blowing my mind as I thought about my own life and all the previous roles I've held and the ones I have yet to claim, but aspire to.  His presentation consisted of one slide and he used some unicorn fantasy phrasing like "social gyroscopes," but offered solutions to the noise of the internet and our reception of it:

Rob wants the option, when served an ad, to say "not now, not here, not ever."  Citing our constant bombardment with information and messages, Rob expressed the desire to want to "find out less as well as find out more."  Judge Colleen DeCourcy challenged his "give me only things I want" mentality with, "How long after I only get information that I'm interested in before I collapse upon myself?"  Great point - the "only what I like" mantra is how ethnocentricity and cultural homogeny get by. 

The knowledge not yet learned and the tools or services not yet found are the roofies that ad agencies get to plop in our drinks so we're a little more malleable in the closet with them.  I like pizza, but what if I never knew you could put jalapenos on it with my pepperoni?  I love water, but what if I never knew you could use soap in the shower with it?  Dramatic examples, I know -- but you get it, right?  Judge Patrick Keane, Chief Executive Officer, Associated Content, Inc. wussed out on his judgment, stating "I sell ads to that dude so I'm just giving him a hand."

I had an "oh dear, he's going to get fired" moment during Matt Freeman's, CEO, Betawave Corporation, 7 minutes.  It wasn't when he said "the Internet doesn't need reinventing, advertising does." It was when he said Internet does not equal advertising - parts of it are, but not the whole, "A lot of people use the phone," he illustrated, "but that doesn't mean it's an advertising platform."  Well, Matt, that's exactly what that means.

I had to take off as the clock struck three, my 7 minutes in heaven were up as I had a self-imposed deadline to meet, but you can find the recorded presentations here at some point.  Also, as a total aside: "Betaware" would be a GREAT brand name for training pants.

Lots of photos for you to check out on Flickr!

Send invitations to kelly@mediapost.com!