• by Kelly Samardak , September 28, 2010

NAVTEQ Media Invisible Party, Invisible Location, New York
IAB And Demand Media Cocktails, North Cabanas At The Maritime Hotel
September 27, 2010

Ah yes, one of those amazing nights where, just before you enter a party, the awning dumpers inside push up the awning over the Maritime Hotel North Cabanas, releasing a ridiculous roof tsunami of pigeon guano soup and rat pellet tea directly in front of you.  Oh, ha, and by you I mean me.  And before that maybe you (me) went to a party that didn't even exist.  On Hopstop directions to trains that don't exist.

We'll start at the beginning.  I didn't get out from under my photos from The Stars of Madison Avenue Luncheon quickly enough to get to the VEVO party for Rio Caraeff.  So I figured I would just head on over to the NAVTEQ Media Party at the Hudson Hotel Private Park first, then hit up the iab/Demand Media party at the Maritime Hotel Cabanas.  Hopstop tells me, "Yo, Kelly, grab the L and transfer to the D at 14^th Street."  I know, you subway rats are shaking your heads already.  BECAUSE THERE IS NO D AT 14^th STREET. 

"No big whoop," I say to myself, "lookie here, Hopstop tells me the 2, 3 are also options."  And neato torpedo, after I walk through the long 2, 3 tube, the 2 pulls up at the end of the stairs.  And after 42^nd street, it just zips right on up to 72^nd street, SKIPPING 59^th Street, which is what I needed.  I'm sorry, I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at the situation.  Not The Situation.  I pop off the 2 at 72^nd, head back downtown and FINALLY arrive at the Hudson Hotel.

I walk in the door, no signage.  I was expecting something like "join us in the rumpus room due to rain!" but nothing.  Thus, I assumed a tent.

I walk up to the Private Park.

Crickets.

Wait, not even crickets. 

NOTHING.  Just a bunch of furniture covered in plastic like at my granny's house.  I wander all over, confusing a group of German tourists with my questions about a NAVTEQ.

Rule one of event planning to not make people homicidal: Should you change rooms, POST APPROPRIATE SIGNAGE.  I left, heading BACK downtown, a headache growing.

I make it to my final destination, a party to kick off the week promising Tyra Banks.  I figured it would be extra-swanky since the woman who invented "Smize" would be there.  The Cabanas were draped in white tents (which had been collecting rainwater, which those kind gentlemen nearly dumped all over me with their poking technique) with some break-through water pooling here and there.  The music was so loud my ear canal tried to kill itself five times.  Everyone was yelling at each other to be heard, which made my head jerk around more than once to see who was fighting.

A man in a white coat slithered through, his arms laden with at least seven pizzas.  The guests' faces lit up, excited to dig in.  But he just skittered on by, off to another party.  So wrong to go through one party that rioted over chicken sticks and pastry puffs with a stack of pizzas. 

I also found Steve Sullivan of IAB; Harold Fortmann of the Harold Fortmanns; Phil Ardizzone of IAB; RamseyMcGrory of Yahoo/Right Media; Eran Metzer of Right Media; Beth Burstein, Lauren Champagne, Kristina Goldberg, and Kristina Nakanishi of Vibrant Media; Shannon Koenig of Coburn Communication;  Jacob Ross of Demand Media; Albert Azout of Sociocast (which sounds a little too close to sociopath); and Ari Goldberg of StyleCaster.  Also, Sociocast Albert's biz card is pretty sweet.

I lined up Nina Adams, Account Director at Product of The Year USA; Colleen Kelly, Managing Director at Product of The Year USA; and Rachael Stuhaan, VP, Digital Account Director at Deutsch LA, just in time for another photog to stand right next to me and shoot the same shot.  

I turned around and found Ben Kofron of Demand Media talking with The New York Daily News' Mike Antonecchia.  Both were professional, courteous.  I then met John Mark, a sales planner at quandrantOne and Sean Krattli, Online Ad Trafficker at quadrantONE.  Everything seemed all right, if not a little confusing when I couldn't seem to understand what Sean was telling me his name was.  It was loud. 

Another fellow came over, grabbed my shoulder, and started telling me his name.  He was Danny Duong, Manager, Sales Operations at Major League Gaming, and he may have been partaking in the open bar a bit.  I asked how to spell his last name again and one of the other guys who wasn't John Mark snickered, "D - O - N - G" (insert 14-year-old-boy chortling and repeating of "dong" followed by more sweaty chortling].

That was it for me.  It wasn't Steve Winwood's "Bring Me A Higher Love," nope, it was "dong."  Sometimes I really think I'm too old for this. 

To Tuesday!

Photos are up on Flickr!