• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, October 15, 2010

A new Harris Poll says that 75% of Americans have found a commercial on TV confusing. On the off chance this makes you smirk and say to yourself, "What a bunch of morons all those OTHER people are," it may be of interest that there is not much of a difference in education among the confused, with 75% of those who have an education level of high school or less, 75% of those who have some college education, and 76% of those who have a college degree or post-graduate education all saying they have found commercials on TV to be confusing.

As far as I could tell, the study didn't delve into what exactly what folks found confusing about commercials, although I have some ideas of my own.

I am confused by the number of commercials in any given hour of TV. We are sneaking up on 22 to 24 minutes of commercials in every prime-time hour of TV. Just when I think it is safe to take the DVR off fast-forward, yet more commercials appear. I must say with all candor I don't understand how anybody can sit through commercials pods in big shows like "Grey's" and "Glee" and not want to blow their flatscreen away in a satisfying shotgun blast after the fifth or sixth spot in a row. The networks are powerfully incenting people to skip or mute or turn to another channel during these endless runs of commercials.

I am confused why media agencies have never heard of frequency capping. I watch lots of college football. Too much, according to some in my family who do not understand why I have to miss middle school teacher night because of the Fla. State-N.C. State game next Thursday. Seriously? Anyway, because like every other red-blooded American sports fan I am constantly switching between the five or six games Saturday (oh, and Thursday, Wednesday and Friday) and so I see the same idiotic commercials over and over and over. After a while, I start to hate the brand and vow never to give them my business. I understand the media plan strategy, but they have to understand that there are lots of guys like me who watch many different games (all of which have far too many commercial breaks to begin with).

I am confused by the fascination with Betty White. She wasn't all that interesting in her prime and even less so now -- although if I am half that lucid at her age, I will be a happy camper.

I am confused by brand execs who sit in screening rooms and say "I love it!" to creative that is so stupid that it shouldn't air on cable at 4 a.m., much less on the Super Bowl.

I am confused by the endless tune-in promotions that run up to a network premiere. I felt like if I didn't tune into "Boardwalk Empire" or "The Event," I would either be knee-capped by the Mob or abducted by aliens. As Flip Wilson used to say, "Don't let your mouth write a check your body can't cash." After all of the hype, both were at first glance let down. I have yet to get to the second "Event" episode backed up on my DVR, but I am kinda likin' "Boardwalk Empire."

I am confused by local cable spots. Whoever is telling these guys that they too can be a local version of Lee Iacocca is blowing cumulus volumes of smoke up some pretty talentless butts. Put those budgets into local search where they belong.

I, like apparently lots of others, am confused by ads that take a teaser, convoluted approach to the sell. I like a cute story as much as the next guy, but get to the frickin' point. Besides, after one viewing there is no longer a surprise ending to wait for, so ZAP!

I am confused by ads that are meant to look like the shows in which they run. I know this is supposed to stop me during my fast-forward, but seriously, I know how to time the pod -- and trying to trick me into thinking this is part of the show is just lame.

Mostly I am confused by why my cable bill keeps getting higher, when ads are justified as the cost of production on "free" TV. That does not compute.