Just An Online Minute... A Hairy, Tattooed, Metal Cookbook Party. No, Really.

"Mosh Potatoes" Metal Cookbook Launch Party, Idle Hands Bar, New York
October 21, 2010

Some mornings I wake up, walk to living room/family room/common room/only other room in the house beside my bathroom and bedroom, and my ears are met with what I like to call "Metal Breakfast" - Saturday and Sunday morning cartoons are replaced with VH-1 classics' "Metal Mania" and a DVR'd "That Metal Show." A certain bald creature is usually planted in the couch, flailing away at the air drums. I have a feeling that the sproingy-bearded, dangling-goateed, long-locked (or no-locked), black-T-shirt wearing, devil-horn throwing crowd I was surrounded with last night for the launch of "Mosh Potatoes," "the heaviest cookbook ever," would love to get in on that morning routine.  That is, if mornings actually are metal.

The party was at Idle Hands Bar, in the basement of Billy Hurricane's, which also used to be "Rehab," which used to be something else... or something.  Idle Hands Bar the latest installation in the "come to the basement and just !#@$@% drink" bar scene in Manhattan.  Its "Uncle Frank's Basement" appeal weeds out the softer side of suds, keeping the place honest to its tagline "Bourbon. Beer. Rock."  I imagine you would get clotheslined for ordering a Buttery Nipple.  At least I hope you would. 



But don't think this is a snarly, unwelcoming joint.  Giant hugs, smiles and backslaps abound -- at least last night, but it's hard not to be jolly around the launch of a cookbook featuring recipes from some of the hardest rockers - and with such an adorable (well that's not very metal, Kelly) title as "Mosh Potatoes." 

I ran into Idle Hands owner Marc Schapiro.  He's hard to miss with his slick head and sharp features.  The guy is ALWAYS smiling.  He directed me upstairs to the kitchen to find Steve "Buckshot" Seabury, wizard of "Mosh Potatoes" cooking.  In the tiniest kitchen, I found Steve with a gaggle of helpers.   It was a family affair. Steve even had his long-grey-bearded uncle delivering food.  Steve's uncle encouraged me to try his 'shrooms.  He sold me with "They're little little sausage pizzas."

Drinks were on the house and they were LETHAL.  Concoctions heavy on the tequila like "Metal Up Your Glass" and "Screamin' Seabury" successfully melted off many a face. Lagunitas beers were also on the house, but I mean really, the "Screamin' Seabury" got the job done.

Squirreling about in the dark were Vince Neilstein, co founder of metal blog Metal Sucks; Bram Teitelman, Managing Editor at Metal Insider and marketing and promo dude for The Syndicate; Randy Derebegian, sort of recently married Label Development Guy at ADA Music; Ira Kessler, fan of Jägermeister promo neck bling and music industry vet; Rich Hall of 1000 Knives; Austin Stephens of Roadrunner Records; Wendy Richard, Manager, Sales Communication at WEA; and Sean Roberts, Manager of the band, The Judas Syndrome. Oh right, and I spotted Grill 'Em All Truck's Ryan Harkins. PS they're in town - get a frickin' burger!

Queens College's radio fellow Matt Hyde, also of Megaforce Records ("It's very complicated," he said when I asked what genres of music they repped) turned out to be a lucrative find as he pointed out Richard Christy to me.  Christy, according to ADA Music's David Factor (and my very own metal baldy), "is a sick drummer" who used to flail around with Iced Earth, Death, and currently plays with Charred Walls of The Damned.  You can not make this stuff up.  He is also, according to Hyde, "Howard Stern's right hand man." I had no idea who he was, so hooray for talkative partygoers and metal boyfriends!

I also met Efren Puente of Charmer Sunbelt Group and Douglas Vicenzi of Master Plan.  They were the only guys in suits and they made no apologies for it.  Waiting for the toilet, I met Chris Pacifico, a music PR dude with Solid PR, repping Torche.  We had to part ways for reasons of nature, which then led me into a toilet nightmare.  The bathrooms are clean enough, but of course the floors were covered in a sloppy wetness, which no doubt got worse into the night.  That sloppy wetness is where my pen ended up.  I won't tell you if I retrieved it or not.

Toward the back of the room, lit devilishly by candlelight, I found Dan Lorenzo of  Steppin' Out,  "NY & NJ's #1 Entertainment Magazine."  Dan handed me a matchbook with the word "Hades" emblazoned across it in flame font.  "That's our band," he clarified.  Around the corner from Hades I found  "Mosh Potatoes" recipe artist Diamond Dave Ardolina of Moth Eater.  He contributed Shrimp and Pasta with Broccoli, which doesn't sound very metal until you realize you have to break every utensil you cook with while you're cooking.  Diamond Dave told me a lovely story of opening for Steven Adler's "Adler's Appetite."  Steven let Diamond Dave use his drum kit.  Diamond Dave broke his drum kit.  To this day, Sparkly Dave feels guilty and would love to run into Adler again to hug it out.

As I left Idle Hands Bar to head home and shed my metal costume, I noticed that it was about to get old-school.  The line for checking in was filled with even more crazy hair and over grown beards, all in black, ready to get their bourbon, beer, and rock on and maybe suck down some Evil Chili and banana bread.  Yes.  Banana bread.

Rock n Roll photos are up on Flickr! Get some tattoo inspiration!

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