• by Kelly Samardak , October 28, 2010

Marie Claire Women On Top Awards Luncheon, Gansevoort Park Avenue, New York
October 28, 2010

Let's talk about the Marie Claire elephant in the room.  No fatty pun intended.   I have been a fatty.  This column has made me a bit of a chubber as well.  Depending on how many mini burgers and beers are present in my week of WORK (I write a party column, people, I'm predestined to never see a treadmill for the mac 'n' cheese in my face), I may or may not see my toes in the shower.  If you don't read Marie Claire blogs, you have no idea why they hell I am talking about fat or my shower routine.  If you do read Marie Claire blogs I imagine it's because you're a young girl inside, or you're doing it for research.  Either way, it sort of took over the Twitter trending topics (not sponsored!) and invaded my brain as I settled into the Marie Claire Women On Top Awards luncheon.

Cliff's Notes: a Marie Claire blogger stated that she didn't want to see two fatties (her words) making out on TV.  Or ever.  Or even walking across the room, because she considered obesity a horrible disease, and watching someone IN IT disturbed her as much as watching a heroin addict sticking themselves with a needle.  My reaction was initially indignant ohmuhgoshing all over the place. 

But then I thought about it. 

I really did, I thought about it throughout the day.  And the result is that I don't care what this person says.  I don't read Marie Claire blogs.  Specific publications aside, I just don't read anything written by prissy little dingdongs who don't think toilet humor is magnificent.  I don't read fashion mags with my thinking cap on, pondering whether or not that size 00 is indeed something I aspire to.  I just don't bloody care. 

The girl (and I'm not going to name her) who wrote the "fatty-gate" post no doubt is from the school of sensationalist blogging and headlines (hello, Gawker pageviews anyone?) and has been encouraged to be provocative. 

And she was. 

She may have even had a point in there, but she went about it the wrong way.  The influence to young girls reading her is no good, but the question is, what the hell does everyone NOW want from her?  She was accused of bullying, she apologized.  From her apology came more critique, more response bullying.  Should she make a public statement? Should Joanna Coles, Editor In Chief of the U.S. Marie Claire, trot her out in front of the world so everyone can then nitpick her inequities, saying how dare she pick on someone else when her hair is too mousy/nose is too crooked/smile is too swirly/pores are too wide/hips are too pear-y/breath is too peanutty.  I DON'T CARE. 

In fact, I don't care so much, I just wrote over three paragraphs about it. 

She made a jackass move.  We've all been stupid in writing.  I've been really stupid.  I've typed out some inane things. And really, I don't want to see two really fit people making out.  I'm not into watching, perverts.  I also don't want to see people making out with their dogs, why do they do that?

Holy crap, I went on, didn't I.

You know what I do care about? Women making a positive impact on their environments, women working their asses off for their passions, their life goals, their ultimate successes (and not aiming for "hottest biz beyotch" as the pinnacle), women behaving in a way that inspires me and should inspire others because they're examples of respectable humans who respect other humans -- those women getting recognition for what they do.  And that's what today's luncheon was about, not some lame-ass comment from an inexperienced-in-life scribe.  AND I got to meet some of these wonderful women.

Alexa von Tobel.  I knew I had heard the name before, and when she said "Learnvest" it all came together.  I have a sort of virtual relationship with Caroline Waxler, who Alexa said was Learnvest's third employee, so from her I was introduced to the personal finance site.  Alexa dropped out of Harvard Business School to get 100% behind the success of Learnvest, a risky move at the height of the recent recession, but one she knew she had to take.  If you haven't met Alexa yet, you should.  But good luck catching her, she's bouncing all over the place with speaking engagements, meetings, and I do believe she said a book deal.

Speaking of book deals, my other tablemates were all literary agents and fantastic women as well.  I really wasn't expecting to relate to anyone at a Marie Claire luncheon since I was more of a Mad Magazine gal, which is why I'm so weird today.  However, the literary agents from ICM (International Creative Management) were wonderful.  Liz Farell let me in on a little group called the Cloud Appreciation Society, Andrea "Andy" Barzbi told stories of nightmare wedding photogs, and Kari Stuart and I shared tales of woe from the Metro North line (from back when Southeast was called Brewster North).

Our tomato salad and dog-stalking conversation was happily interrupted by the actual award ceremony, sharply delivered by Joanna Coles, who no doubt has "I'm not here to make friends" cross-stitched over her bed.  And I don't mean that in a bad way.  She is slightly awkward, making off-color "no really, this is timely" jokes like "Christine O'Donnell couldn't be here, her broom stick was grounded," but also coming off sincerely in honoring the work of cohost Laura Linney (who is spectacular in person, like a golden egg in Angry  Birds).  And she strikes me as a bit of a badass: aggressive, ballsy, unapologetic, and realistic.  No she didn't address fattygate, nor should she.  Why piggyback on negativity (like I guess I sort of did, but I had to get it out!) when the awards were for such a positive reason? 

Other fabulous ladies who lunch that I met were Flip Brophy, literary agent (and president, but who's counting) at Sterling Lord, Courtney Hamilton of Natural Resource Defense Council (NRDC), honoree Anjali Jaiswal, also of NRDC, and also so humble she didn't even mention her status as an honoree when we met, and Maria Bertorelli, Director of Marketing and Advertising for Clarins.

You can get to know these women to watch on the Marie Claire site.

Also, I've always pronounced it "Marie," like my middle name, "Muh Ree."  But it's "Mary."  Who knew?  Joanne Coles, obviously.

Photos are up with tons more to come, but I have to run off to a Perez Hilton party followed by Daily Candy's 10th Anniversary!