Commentary

How I Will Win The Streaming Wars

At the moment, there are over 100 video streaming services on the market. Not all of them are available to you because they are regional or country-specific, but suffice to say there is enough streaming video for your eyeballs to crawl out of your head and beg for a break. 

Even though Walmart and PlayStation are wimping out and dumping their video offerings, I still think there’s room in the market for something distinctive — if not unique. 

And so, it is with great pride and bravado I announce the launch of my own streaming video offering: GeorgeOnTheGo.

I have yet to decide on pricing — but frankly if I can use it to steal enough consumer data, I might go with like $2.99 a month with ads and a premium service without ads for say, $5.99. That ought to make me pretty competitive for cord-cutters who just can’t stand paying for 300 channels they never watch. Or the fact that after “The Handmaid’s Tale,” there was nothing else to watch on Hulu.

Now, I read that it costs billions of dollars and big-name stars to produce the kind of content that will keep my subscribers from dropping out.  

But I already have an archive that, if cleverly edited, can keep me in programming for a pretty long time. Here are some of my tentpole offerings:

"Anna Does Walter Schalk":  When you are raised in an affluent New York City bedroom community, sooner or later you have to go to The Walter Schalk School of Dance. It is preordained: measles vaccine, Gap clothing, swimming lessons at the Y, car pools and Walter Schalk. As a result, every parent has hours of camcorder tape of their daughters dressed in colorful lobster costumes gritting their teeth through Disney musical dance routines.  With the proper promos, I think we have our first smash hit. 

"William Goes 0-4": Nothing builds audience loyalty like sports. You can’t beat the inherent drama of competition on the playing field — especially when the stars of tomorrow reveal their abilities at, say, nine years-old.  

Shot through a chain link fence for added realism and sense of place, "William Goes 0-4" chronicles the struggles of a hitter in the crucial third spot in the lineup who strikes out four times in an essential, must-win playoff game. 

How will fans react on social media? Will management put him on waivers? Will the smart-alecky, trouble-making left fielder devastate with a comment? Will the batter cry all the way to Baskin Robbins?  I plan to load up with video from the entire season so dedicated fans can binge on every at-bat. A cult is born.

"TJ Falls Off The Sled": In an homage to similar series like “Modern Family” and "Leave it to Beaver,” this video series follows the youthful TJ (interestingly, playing himself) attempting to survive a sled run on the steep part of the backyard. 

Bound to attract Red Bull thrill seekers who will watch in anticipation as TJ hurls himself in a downward trajectory, a look of grim determination revealing his inner need for approbation from the kids across the street who have already survived the run.  It is man against the savage beast of nature at its best.  Thursdays at 10 p.m.

6 comments about "How I Will Win The Streaming Wars".
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  1. Ed Papazian from Media Dynamics Inc, November 8, 2019 at 8:38 a.m.

    George, I hope that you realize that you will be competing with my new SVOD service---EDMAX---which is raising $1 billion in venture capital to woo Gen Z smartphone users with an ad supported platform composed mainly of long form, serialized, edgy dramas crafted by Hollywood's most brilliant---and expensive--- minds. We already have tentative ad buys totalling $300 million from a number of  really big advertisers and are planning to launch next September---if we get funding. So you had better hurry up or we will beat you to the punch.

  2. George Simpson from George H. Simpson Communications replied, November 8, 2019 at 8:55 a.m.

    Wait until your audience finds out edmax is 29.99 a month and your backers say a growth rate of 1700% per quarter is the new norm...

  3. Ed Papazian from Media Dynamics Inc, November 8, 2019 at 9:12 a.m.

    By that time, George, I will  have sold EDMAX---with its 2,000 subs--- to one of the big media players and I'll be working on my next launch, a low priced rerun platform, tentatively titled, EDAGAIN.

  4. John Grono from GAP Research, November 8, 2019 at 6:14 p.m.

    I was planning on a different tack.

    I was going to consolidate and curate all my years of MediaPost comments (if Joe lets me - might have to be a JV) into a single slow-scrolling service.

    I was thinking of "Looking Upside Down From Downunder", or maybe "Grono's Groans", and make it an advertising industry subscription resource.   I might even run an annoying NYSE-like ticker along the bottom of the screen (working title - Drops of Wisdom).

    Waddayathink?

  5. George Simpson from George H. Simpson Communications, November 8, 2019 at 11:16 p.m.

    I think that if you can successfully launch that, you are the smartest among us. 

  6. John Grono from GAP Research, November 9, 2019 at 2:27 a.m.

    Well I have got you fooled then George!

    Keep your articles flowing - I love the way you think and write.

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