• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, November 7, 2019

At the moment, there are over 100 video streaming services on the market. Not all of them are available to you because they are regional or country-specific, but suffice to say there is enough streaming video for your eyeballs to crawl out of your head and beg for a break. 

Even though Walmart and PlayStation are wimping out and dumping their video offerings, I still think there’s room in the market for something distinctive — if not unique. 

And so, it is with great pride and bravado I announce the launch of my own streaming video offering: GeorgeOnTheGo.

I have yet to decide on pricing — but frankly if I can use it to steal enough consumer data, I might go with like $2.99 a month with ads and a premium service without ads for say, $5.99. That ought to make me pretty competitive for cord-cutters who just can’t stand paying for 300 channels they never watch. Or the fact that after “The Handmaid’s Tale,” there was nothing else to watch on Hulu.

Now, I read that it costs billions of dollars and big-name stars to produce the kind of content that will keep my subscribers from dropping out.  

But I already have an archive that, if cleverly edited, can keep me in programming for a pretty long time. Here are some of my tentpole offerings:

"Anna Does Walter Schalk":  When you are raised in an affluent New York City bedroom community, sooner or later you have to go to The Walter Schalk School of Dance. It is preordained: measles vaccine, Gap clothing, swimming lessons at the Y, car pools and Walter Schalk. As a result, every parent has hours of camcorder tape of their daughters dressed in colorful lobster costumes gritting their teeth through Disney musical dance routines.  With the proper promos, I think we have our first smash hit. 

"William Goes 0-4": Nothing builds audience loyalty like sports. You can’t beat the inherent drama of competition on the playing field — especially when the stars of tomorrow reveal their abilities at, say, nine years-old.  

Shot through a chain link fence for added realism and sense of place, "William Goes 0-4" chronicles the struggles of a hitter in the crucial third spot in the lineup who strikes out four times in an essential, must-win playoff game. 

How will fans react on social media? Will management put him on waivers? Will the smart-alecky, trouble-making left fielder devastate with a comment? Will the batter cry all the way to Baskin Robbins?  I plan to load up with video from the entire season so dedicated fans can binge on every at-bat. A cult is born.

"TJ Falls Off The Sled": In an homage to similar series like “Modern Family” and "Leave it to Beaver,” this video series follows the youthful TJ (interestingly, playing himself) attempting to survive a sled run on the steep part of the backyard. 

Bound to attract Red Bull thrill seekers who will watch in anticipation as TJ hurls himself in a downward trajectory, a look of grim determination revealing his inner need for approbation from the kids across the street who have already survived the run.  It is man against the savage beast of nature at its best.  Thursdays at 10 p.m.