• by Kevin Ryan , November 8, 2023

The too cool-for-mainstream press has uncovered the dastardly practice of search engine optimization (SEO). In a thought-piece format, someone went Christiane Amanpour on the business, considered all perspectives without bias, and offered real insights into dark arts that no one knew existed.

I’m just kidding; they did none of those things. The bias is so formulaic, and pretentiously presented, that anyone who has been in the trade for more than 30 seconds could see it from space. As others have noted, the writing is very problematic for many reasons. 

This is about the thousandth time some “journalist” has “discovered” the SEO trade, then summarily judged it as evil -- or that in this case, it ruined the internet.

The formulaic approach to attacking people I know and respect has been going on since the optimization trade discipline first began to manifest.

While I’m on the subject, if “time in the business” is an expert qualifier, you haven’t been in search "for a long time" unless you were doing it before ads existed.

When the paid model was later introduced, we phoned in our ad bids at the end of each day. Yes, that was a thing, and you’re not an old timer if you didn’t make that call either. 

I’m loath to offer a link or name this pseudo-journalistic journey of optimized self-discovery for a few reasons.

The least important reason is that stuff like this ends up ranking well in search results as either an intended consequence or an unfortunate outcome. Either way, you don’t even need to read it. The only relevance lies in the harm that rubbish like this orchestrates.

There is an incurable virus lurking in the general consciousness about search, and outbreaks of one or more of its blisters occur occasionally in mainstream media. Since treatment seems to be the only option, we can only identify and categorize the outbreaks to minimize their impact.

Editorial ridicule has kept search from its seat at the adult digital marketing table for a long time.

The formula is painfully simple. SEO is for people who are less than, or in some way are trying to game the system. The other side of the house -- the ad people -- have their own problems, but are more often depicted respectfully and on the right side of morality.

Thankfully, my relatively short stint in the pilot house of the search industry drama cruise was left out of this narrative.

Hallelujah -- I got off that love boat a while ago, and like a lot of people who began their journey in search, we have gone on to view it as a piece of a much larger puzzle.

That’s not to say that the people in the optimization business who still do it today have something wrong with them. We all choose our paths. I judge no one because I believe that judgment is reserved for God, and God alone. Snoogans.

That said, there are a couple of updates to this old chestnut that may be easily overlooked. In case you missed the subtext, SEO people are beneath reptiles. Worse, they abuse animals in addition to ruining the Internet, of course.

The only socially acceptable look and feel of an SEO is the pop culture standard version from a hip NYC borough.

The negative reptilian characterization and the shaved head, exceptionally modish, uber-successful, globetrotting sans fact-check depictions are both comically inaccurate. People in the business have seen many such sideshow devices come and go over the years. Again, nothing new.

The other thing potentially lost in the coming-of-age drama word salad is the notion that organic search-optimization efforts are akin to slithering reptiles, and paid search is somehow virtuous. This is another characterization that neglects both history and facts.

In reality, the holier-than-thou paid model has always had a parasitic relationship with the organic universe. One came before the other. The former can’t exist without the latter.

The modern search-advertising model paid all the bills at Google for a long time. Part of Google’s obligation to shareholders is that it must defeat the organic presence in favor of monetizable ad inventory.

Remember targeted cheap terms that used to be for sale before being choked out by high-volume, high-money automation?

Good for Google -- I'm a capitalist too.

Google’s famous technocratic oath of "do no evil" doesn't mean make no money. Make myrrh while the sun shines. Just don’t pee on me and tell me it's holy water.

If you really must read this colorless dreck, you should review the summary from Google’s Danny Sullivan. Although he works at Google, his breakdown is straightforward. I’m giving you a link to his thoughts, but why don’t you try some good, old-fashioned keyword research and Googling stuff?

Heck, try it on DuckDuckGo or Bing.

Live a little. You’ll be able to tell the next generation of people who think they invented your job about having to enter search terms into a box.