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Just An Online Minute... MUSE Award Recipients America Ferrera And Julianna Margulies Thank Imagination, DayQuil

29th Annual MUSE Awards, New York Hilton, New York
December 9, 2009

Yesterday's 29th Annual MUSE Awards ran the entire emotional spectrum with surprisingly crass (awesome!) jokes courtesy of Linda Kaplan Thayer, sneak-up tears from three honorees, and a surprise guest that audibly thrilled the audience, but did not garner as much applause as Freixenet drowned in for being the MUSE champagne and wine sponsor for 17 years.  It's hard to compete with liquid lunch.

Last year the MUSE Awards luncheon was at the Waldorf Astoria.  This year the New York Hilton played host to the New York Women in Film and Television in their sliding scales of all black to bright orange.  I love NYWIFT events because it's as if I'm revisiting my high school drama club... of the future.  That swatch of blue hair, the leather pants, the striped stockings, the bowler hats, the sidelong looks of curiosity.  The only thing missing is a loud-mouthed director and a little hanky panky behind the curtains. 

Servers greeted the guests with silver trays of bubbling champagne which new arrivals descended upon like pigeons on a dropped taco.  Hearty souls made a beeline for the bar for something stiffer.  Making my photo rounds at the reception, I met Tsu Tsu Stanton and Lisa Makowski at a cocktail table, Shirley Wershba and Irving Fried, Toccara Castleman, Anneke Schoneveld, Jane Barbara, Lisa Schumas, Alison Carmen, Jessica Brown, Jessica Martinez, Stuart Hammer, Alan Rosenfeld, and dozens more.  I ducked into the Grand Ballroom to get a sneak peak of the set-up and discovered the salmon salad was already waiting for hungry attendees.  Gift bags sat on each chair, with non-press tables receiving an additional large grey box.  What was in there?

I scooted off to the VIP reception (AKA the "red carpet" area) just in time to catch America Ferrera's arrival. The paps repeated over and over "over here America, thank you" to which Ferrera turned and smiled unflinchingly.  Only as she descended the raised platform did she show exasperation by huffing, "They have 2 million photos, they're fine,"  at her handler.  I immediately felt negatively toward her and left the VIP reception to return to the real people. It's not like the photogs were jumping out from behind the toilet paper dispenser - it's the "red carpet." Snap judgments are rarely accurate, by the way.

Fast-forward to the awards.  Master of Ceremonies Linda Kaplan Thayer is someone I want at my every dinner.  She's sharp, she's dirty, and she's hilarious.  She pokes harsh fun at herself unrepentantly, including the non-airing of the reality show she was in called Jingle - if it's not obvious, a competition focused on jingle writing.  I would have watched it!  Her words of bonding with the honorees bac stage: ,"I think we've already synced up our cycles... those of us that still have them."  

Lifetime's Andrea Wong, the woman behind "Dancing With the Stars," was introduced by a montage highlighting some of THE BEST Lifetime movie titles ever, like "My Stepson, My Lover" and all-time favorite "Mother May I Sleep With Danger" (a Tori Spelling masterpiece!).  Wong approached the podium choked up and struggled to steady her first few words.  Her appreciation was genuine and her respect and admiration for her muses - her grandparents - was heartfelt.  She also thanked her nieces and nephews for being her favorite people around and drew awed gasps when she thanked her "assistant and lifeline" Tiffany Nicholsan (maybe because it's not an industry known for treating assistants well?) who "has so much potential and inspires me to help her realize it."

The lights dimmed for the photo montage dedicated to Alison Silverman, executive producer and co-head writer of "The Colbert Report." Lights up and SURPRISE! Stephen Colbert!  Applause and hoots all around for one of the funniest wits on TV (and he has Alison Silverman to thank for it).  When Silverman stepped up to the microphone, she was visibly moved by the Colbert Surprise, and immediately launched into an almost-perfect duplication of the jokes Colbert had just delivered, which proved their claims of comedic mind reading and a constant competition on who can be the most outrageous... which she followed with "Boobies, penis, vagina, diarrhea."  Hesitant, yet building laughter followed.  

After sharing a story about delivering a recent pressure-filled pitch and ended up in tears in front of potential business partners, she struggled to avoid tears again when recalling something Colbert had said to her: "I think one unusual thing about you is you maintain your humanity, which is your clubfoot," noting that village elders and shaman are frequently maimed and deformed.   She concluded with "See being too human as a strength, and if you don't - keep it to yourself."  If you're a woman, you probably notice that women more than men are cautioned about showing emotion (OH GOD, NO!) in the workplace, which is what Silverman was kind of thumbing her nose at - with the support of Colbert as well.

Next up, America Ferrera, whom I watched closely with my snap judgment still prickling behind my eyes.  She stumbled a bit at the beginning of her speech, inspiring an eye roll from me and snotty thought bubbles of "how insincere."  But guess what, Judgey McJudgment, maybe she was nervous, or sick, or tired, or hungry - [insert deity of your choice] knows when I'm hungry I'm like a paper cut pterodactyl - because as she continued and eventually arrived at a story about her 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Rodriquez, who auditioned her for Oliver Twist in the title role, but cast her as the Artful Dodger instead. 

Mrs. Rodriquez never said aloud, "if you want to be a little white British orphan boy, do it!" but her encouragement left a lasting impression on Ferrera that "our imaginations had no limitations."  When Ferrara recalled seeing Mrs. Rodriguez's grey curls sticking above her open casket after she died of stomach cancer when Ferrara graduated from 5th grade, her voice cracked and her lips did that uncontrollable broken heart dance, and I dropped my snap judgment.  Humanity, remember?

Because of my hectic holiday event schedule I had to duck out, but not before I heard Julianna Margulies (who I totally forgot was in "Snakes On A Plane") thank DayQuil for keeping her erect.  I wish I looked as fabulous healthy as she does on a sick day.

I can't recall who said it, but it was emotionally delivered: the thought that we should all take a moment to think about our own muses, the people who inspire us, and thank them.  Thinking now...

Photos are up on Flickr (more to come!)

Send invitations to kelly@mediapost.com

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