• by Kelly Samardak , January 12, 2010

Last week the Twittersphere (I'm sorry, brain) lathered itself into in a frenzy of "OMG OBJECTIFYING WOMEN" over Vanity Fair's piece on "America's Tweethearts." Guaranteed, whenever a list of anything comes out, you and everyone will offer one better. Because nothing is as good as your way, right? The link to the VF post got its fair share of "good job" ReTweets, but then people actually read the article.

The angry mob began to attack Vanity Fair's Frankenstein of "extreme narcissism," debating the fluffy tone, the "vanilla" theme, and the treatment of the social media practioners it featured. Even one of the Tweethearts themselves joined the fray, and CNET's Caroline McCarthy wrote an even handed, fire in the belly response that focused not on the validity of the subjects themselves but the way in which they were treated. She found a way to say the list was BS without putting down the women who agreed to be a part of it.

I usually don't get riled up about top friends lists. Or hottest nerd lists. Or smartest pinup lists. Or phattest Facebooker lists. I don't get riled up because as a grown adult, I'm aware that the only time I get riled up is because I either feel left out of jealous, and this just isn't the case. I also don't get all tangled in a tirade when it appears that OMG WE'RE OBJECTIFYING WOMEN!!" when, seriously, a lot of the people on these "lists" objectify themselves just fine with purse lipped dailybooth photos, "oops is that my cleavage?" twitpics, and "tee hee, is my skirt too short" tumblr posts. Perception is reality.

I do, however, get a little cheesed up when a campaign/project pitch finds its way into my inbox like the "cool concept" I received Monday. The concept was a casting call/vetting out of party invitees for "'Womanity,' a global Web project with Microsoft and the famous French fashion and fragrance designer Thierry Mugler." The casting director claims to be searching for the global voice of women, which will continue to build at a special launch party of sorts in February.

The copy was Gossip Girl meets Dallas meets The Secret with "girl power!"ese wearing a power trench cinched with words like "swanky" "cream of the crop," "dynamic," "smart", and let's not forget "FUN!" women in NYC. It reeked of the powerful independent woman marketing angle, which inspired me to cut the speedball of typical responders with some real, down to earth, laptop burnt finger tipped women I know who are doing more than displaying their racks with conveniently angled Web cams.

I forwarded the questionnaire BEFORE OPENING IT to a handful of my girlfriends.

I got as far as "Be sure to include at least three photos of yourself -- including a full body shot," before feverishly emailing my friends to ignore the questionnaire, it was crap.

"I started to fill it out and then they asked for my weight and I quit," replied one friend -- with another replying to all with the same sentiment. I opened the questionnaire and flushed eggplant with embarrassment. After the derailing height/weight question, it read like a cheer camp "getting to know you" packet with winners like "Do you engage in any activities that empower you as a woman?(ie. dancing, painting, kickboxing?)" and "What makes YOU unique" followed by doozies like "have you ever been charged with a felony or misdemeanor, or been involved in any type of litigation?" I'm about to commit a felony after reading this damn survey!

"HOW!?," I yell to the paint peeling ceiling, "HOW can you purport to be a project focusing on strong and powerful women when height/weight is the first real question under contact information AND a full body shot is a required element for the casting call?" Not only is the pool shallow, but there's something floating in it that resembles a biological deposit in the form of copy like "in the most simple terms..." It might as well say, "Hey simpleton, let me dumb this down so you understand."

Don't worry, I do not suffer from the delusion that if we all band together and sing about boots made for walkin' the weight of appearances will bend to the weight of intelligence, genuine drive, and real original thought. I know that as long as women have boobs and men have eyes, the boobs have it.

But come on already -- I thought honesty and transparency were not just buzzwords, but the RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS. Maybe I wouldn't be so offended if the casting director was honest and presented the questionnaire as a way to gather the voices of independent, powerful, sassy, and sharp NY women -- but that the casting call would be for the buxom, lithe, glossy lipped figureheads that would be featured on the Womanity site representing the voice of all women.

And maybe I'm wrong, maybe the height/weight question was to weed out the amazons so Womanity could be represented by us 5 feet and under pear shaped cats.