• by Kelly Samardak , April 13, 2010

Good Housekeeping 125th Anniversary Gala, NY City Center, New York
April 12, 2010

Why didn't I take any women's studies courses in college? I get it, I was more interested in where the next pizza and keg party was coming from, but please tell me that you, too, were a little vapid in your youth. Either way, I apologize to all women for being so disinterested when I was most impressionable. If my biggest gripe is some ding-dong sucking his teeth behind me in the voting line, I should remind myself that some women got the crap beat out of them so I could stand there and complain. Thank you, Good Housekeeping, for last night's "hey, you're not where you are simply because of you" evening.

When I got the invitation to attend Good Housekeeping's 125^th birthday gala honoring the most influential women in the past 125 years (with proceeds funneling into The National Women's History Museum in Washington, D.C.) I thought "oh lord, here we go, honoring friends of people who work in media that no one else has ever heard of." Not so, fellow cynics, not so. The rundown last night included heart-snuggling montages of women broken down into categories like Visionaries, Goddesses, and Hell raisers. 

But first - the VIP cocktail party where I met loads of spiffed up guests like Good Housekeeping’s Christina Marusic; photographer Gabriel Velez; Joan Bradley Wages, President & CEO of the National Women’s History Museum; Grayson Handy, Creative Director at Prudence Designs; Ellen Christine of Ellen Christine Couture Millinery; Beverly Hood-Allen, Sales Development Manager at Hearst Magazines; and the parents of the woman who pulled together the entertainment for the evening.  Guests munched on teeny tiny mini burgers, the littlest BLTs EVER, fresh constantly replenishing stacks of sashimi, and my personal favorites – the Parmesan pudding ball and truffled mashed potatoes.  Good sweet YUM.

With full bellies we all poured into the auditorium where the arrival of Martha Stewart in her gold sequined pants launched stalkers from their seats, inspiring the attendents to corral wayward guests with exasperated,"You HAVE to sit DOWN"urgings. 

I particularly enjoyed the "Hell raisers," where Hilary Duff, who looked like a princess warrior AND who drew gasps of excitement when her presence was announced (I had no idea she was around anymore!) quoted historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich's declaration that "Well-behaved women rarely make history." I have an appointment to have that tattooed on my cheeks. Make no mistake - women that aren't well-behaved are not obnoxious and ... loose. No, they are the ones that don't back down, the few who back the unfavorable yet more fair opinion. They're also the ones who usually get called femi-nazis or simply "angry lesbians" because their views aren't giggly hair-flipping agreement with a bunch of old white guys. No offense to old white guys.

I had a very special l date to this event. When I saw that Meryl Streep would be presenting, I knew just the dame to bring. I had to bring her #1 fan: The one woman who forgives Meryl for rolling around on a roof like a hot dachshund on a sidewalk of dried worms in "Mama Mia." That +1 would be Millie Tortora, one of three talented women behind Dazzling Details, and one of the most influential women in my life (she's one of my moms!) My ability to smile and socialize when what I really want to do is poke my eyes out with shrimp forks comes from her.

We both enjoyed every single performance, which began with "There is nothing like a dame" from the musical "South Pacific" performed by Kelli O'Hara and Laura Benanti, dangled from the heart strings with Anne Hampton Calloway's performance of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," leaped into stomach-crunching laughter with a one-woman, four-character performance by "Bridge and Tunnel"'s Sarah Jones, slithered across the stage in gold-sequined pants on Martha Stewart, and confused the hell out of me with Jessica Simpson. You may recall I just saw her at the Discovery Upfront, looking fresh and fabulous. Last night she presented the "Goddess" category, hunching over the podium, gurgling over her words. It's safe to say the entire audience was uncomfortable at that time.

Big uppers of the night included the adorable pocketsize Dr. Ruth, Candice Bergen, and the towering Wendy Williams (who Millie saw before I did!) a few rows ahead of me. Marlee Matlin interpretted prose from Helen Keller, which I could barely hear over the poetry of her hands.  Spotting Dorothy Hamill, whose haircut I sadly emulated too frequently in my youth, was a fun eye tickle.  

Small downer of the night was when fictional character Carrie Bradshaw was recognized as an "icon." Really? In the company of Helen Keller, Sally frickin' Ride, Sonia Sotomayor, Rosa Parks, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Billie Holiday, and more, you're going to plop this flighty, lazy, shallow, materialistic, unable to commit, melodramatic ditzbag? Count to ten, Kelly, count to ten. She's fictional. It was a proud Muppet moment that it was icon Miss Piggy who showed up to toss around some witty banter with That Girl Marlo Thomas instead of the pithy-drivel-spouting Bradshaw. At least Miss Piggy was loyal to Kermie.

The other small downer was when it was announced that First Lady Michelle Obama would be joining us...

..gasps, oohs, excited tittering and chatter...

...via recorded video.  As you can imagine, excited laughs and ooos turned to embarasssed laughter and light grumbles.  It was still pretty awesome though. 

The evening ended with a white ball of feathery goodness in the form of Detroit's own Aretha Franklin. She delivered a respectable performance of "Respect," despite what the air in there, as she said, did to her voice. You can't razz the Queen of Soul because no matter what, Aretha is cooler than you.

I left NY City Center with a list of women I wanted to research, feeling ashamed at how little I really know about women's suffrage and who fought for what basic HUMAN rights I often take for granted until moments like the gala last night remind me that there is a crapload of things I do every single day (like wear pants) that women fought for, years before I was even a zygote.

I'm adding an addendum to my New Year's Resolution list to be less apathetic about my freedoms.

Check out the lovely ladies and the people who support them on Flickr!

Big parties and events planned?  Get them in Just An Online Minute! Send invitations to kelly@mediapost.com!