• by Amy Corr , Staff Writer @MediaPostOTL, September 28, 2011

Really, what IS that unintelligible line in Elton John's "Rocket Man," that I've been singing incorrectly for years? A ride in a 2012 Volkswagen Passat will answer my question, not Google. In the first of two new spots, a hodgepodge of amateur singers belt out "Rocket Man" lyrics while showering, riding an elevator or making coffee. The song is butchered as people interpret the lyrics differently: musty motor home and cheap cologne are two possibilities: I always thought the line ended with "ever known," so I'm just as bad as the folks in the ad. It's not until a couple riding in a 2012 Passat, with a Fender sound system that the answer becomes clear: "burning out his fuse up here alone." Watch it here. Two friends take a 13-hour nonstop road trip, listening to Spanish 101 tapes the entire time. Needless to say, they're now fluent and the Passat gets good gas mileage. See it here.Deutsch LA created the campaign.

Xerox is back with two TV ads for its "Ready for Real Business" campaign, highlighting how brands hire Xerox to handle business -- which allows them to handle real business. Michelin Man has little time to worry about accounts receivable numbers when he is busy fighting a gas pump with multiple nozzles for arms. Take it away, Xerox. Watch it here. A man on a Virgin America flight was looking to do some business in the bathroom but encountered a different business instead: a call center managed by an in-flight team. He's quickly removed and forced to wait for another bathroom. See it here. Y&R created the ads. 

Fire down below! Science World launched "Beach Time," the latest ad in its "We Can Explain" campaign. This is your go-to source for strange-but-true facts. Did you know that bellybutton lint makes great kindling? One poor sunbather learned the hard way when he awoke on the beach to see smoke emerging from his bellybutton. He blows at the smoke, starting a fire in his belly, forcing him to think fast and flop atop the sand for relief. Watch the ad here, created by Rethink, Vancouver and directed by Wayne Craig of Holiday Films.  

"Dragons aren't the only monsters," closes a chilling ad for ECPAT-USA (End Child Prostitution and Trafficking). The 60-second PSA begins with a young girl reading a book under a blanket. The story begins with a girl falling in love with a prince, who sweeps her off her feet and takes her to live in his castle. The story then takes a horrific turn with the young girl describing abuse, rape and being held in captivity. A disturbing statistic: roughly 100,000 American children are at risk of being sold into the sex trade each year, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Watch "Princess" here, created by JWT New York. 

Dragon speech recognition software launched a trio of TV spots highlighting the product's ease of use. Just talk, no need to type. A young boy, writing a report on Blackbeard, decides the pirate isn't scary enough and embellishes a smidge. The updated Blackbeard has no eyes, an eggbeater for a hand and steals children. The last bit hits too close to home, prompting the boy to yell, "delete, delete." See it here. A man writes a sensual scene in his romance novel while he's ironing and the kids are running through the house in the next ad, seen here. A woman pitches her soap products to spas worldwide, hoping to play off the scents of the city. When she reaches New York, however, she realizes that the scent of hot garbage is not something one wants to lather up with. Watch it here. FORGE created the campaign and media buying was handled in-house.

Honda TV ads have a new voiceover. Gone is Kevin Spacey, replaced by actor Jason Bateman. When I first watched the ad, I hardly recognized Bateman's voice, though. His debut ad promotes the Honda Accord. In it, Bateman describes the lessons learned from the first Honda Accord made, along with strides in racecars and private airplanes. Information from these realms is implemented in the latest Honda Accord. Watch "Through It All-5 Star" here, created by RPA. 

Think of this as the Vagina Monologues: 2.0. Or, if your vagina blogged. The Colony produced a 2-minute Web film for Johnson & Johnson China called "Gyno." The ad is voiced by a woman's vagina. CG animation quickly lets that cat out the bag, with a voiceover offering further confirmation. "At times I am your charm, at other times, your wickedness. I can make you proud or embarrassed. At times I am tender, sweet, at times I am wild." The film drives viewers to a microsite, translated as "little v," where female consumers can submit stories about women's issues. See the film here, created by Ogilvy Raynet, Beijing. 

I am a huge fan of "Top Chef." That being said, I'm 100% convinced that season 5 favorite Fabio Viviani has a faux Italian accent and speaks better English than I do. Fabio stars in an ad for Domino's new line of Artisan Pizzas: Spinach & Feta, Italian Sausage & Pepper Trio and Tuscan Salami & Roasted Veggie. The ad plays off Fabio's too-cute accent and takes viewers through a set of multiple takes, as Fabio fudges his lines. Cue the shot of an actual Domino's chef, who's unconvinced that Fabio's charm will sell pizza. See the ad here, created by CP+B.

Random iPhone App of the week: Get your motor running: next week is Advertising Week in NYC. Deutsch updated its Advertising Week app from last year, providing real-time event updates, customized scheduling, local info and directions. This year, look for a new social media capability where users can tweet, post to Facebook and check-in with foursquare, all from within the app. Download it for free from the App Store.