1.Dark lenses or colorful frames are the calling card of our digital district denizens and the purpose is twofold: maintain a digi-hipster (dipster?) fashion swagger while in DUMBO, and maintain anonymity when lunching, hanging, chilling, coding, schmoozing, or otherwise meeting with clients in Manhattan.
2.This style, when paired with tight (not skinny, no one's trying to be Pete Wentz) jeans says: "I could be a lumberjack or the inventor of Hootsuite."
3. Every digital DUMBO dude (or dudette) on the go comes equipped with a full complement of iDevices. When networking with other techsters at DigitalDUMBO, the iPhone's the only way to keep in touch and shoot "hipstamatic" photos, then instantly uploaded to the microblogging tool of the moment.
4.The DUMBO digital denizen would not be caught dead with a Kindle or (god forbid) a Nook. How is one to update their Tumblr full screen/full color on the go, especially when a new fuckyeahobesesquirrels Tumblr pops up daily, and reblogging to a digiphile is like an abacus to a Luddite?
5.When you yourself are not heavily bearded, it's necessary to have a bearded friend. If you are the heavily bearded one, it is your duty to show up at Carrot Creative-sponsored events or just hang out on the waterfront alongside your hairless friend. Scantily furred faces are also acceptable. Perhaps your friend is mid-cycle and deserves your patience, since soon his beard will be full of your secrets.
6. Sure, DUMBO isn't sprawling by any stretch, but isn't it nice to know that, perhaps when you've consumed too many Social Media Strategy margaritas at Pedro's, you can simply glance down at your Maptote for directional help? The other colorblock, no doubt Etsy- or Brooklyn Flea-purchased bags, say, "I protect my ideas, support local artists, and can be found coding away at the DUMBO General Store, yelling at tourists for coming in simply to use the restroom" while also declaring yourself unafraid of the entire rainbow, unlike those black-is-the-new-black-favoring Manhattanites.
7. Purse dogs? Come on. Golden Lab? What is this, Connecticut? Only scruffster mutts, Frenchies, and pugs will do, loved for their portability, snug fit on a bar stool, and as a welcome interruption without being intrusive when that overzealous personal brander falls into his own glittery wormhole of self-pimping.