Frenchie Bashing Part I: My two year old son (this is no joke, now) calls McDonald’s french fries “chickenfwise.”... Can I Get Product Placement On The Podium? ... To present its daily briefings to the world, rumors in several newspapers say that a Hollywood art director has been hired to create a $200,000 set for General Tommy Franks and other American commanders to give daily updates.

Was That WiFi, Or French Fries?: Word out of McDonald’s HQ says the hamburger giant will test wireless internet services at locations in three cities. You can pick from the various theories being spouted about why this is happening at the time.

Dispatches: Being a Gemini, I am split on the wisdom of announcing to the world that one of the world’s leading brands will not advertise during the first 48 hours of “conflict.” P&G made that clear yesterday.

Rational Exuberance: Jessica Reif-Cohen positioned herself as the Alan Greenspan of the great TV ad comeback last week. You gotta love that.

You’ve Got A Challenge: I promise that you just read the last pun in MediaPost on the AOL assignment won last week by BBDO. Some of them are just too much fun to resist.

No It Ain’t Sponsored By Alpo, Boyyyyyyyy: Coming to MTV this spring/summer is a new variety show with host Snoop Dogg called Doggy Fizzle Televizzle premieres 6/22 at 10p. Six episodes have been ordered.

Video Killed The Radio Star: As James Brown said, now we're all "talkin' loud and sayin' nothin.' The final twists of turning cable news into a shock-jock radio lineup does not surprise me.

My Big Fat Synergistic TV Show: Nothing creates media planning heroes like new success on TV. A new success that has quality programming and attracts a quality audience on TV is just about 11 on a scale of ten in today’s vapid programming world.

Focus On Your Salad: That’s what Martha Stewart told an interviewer on CBS months ago when asked about her insider stock trading allegations. Now today it’s more obvious than ever that Martha’s troubles are spreading through her media company, as it announced a $2 million quarterly loss.

The Tribe Has Spoken: After GQ editor Art Cooper resigned last week I had been thinking about some kind of “passing of the torch” kind of tribute in this space. But as I was running in the rain Sunday afternoon it occurred to me that I should save the torch for the next Survivor episode.