Stand Back, Jim. He's Got A TiVo Box: I still want to know why the ad industry is treating TiVo like a ticking bomb.

Fear Factor: I've read a few pretty learned pundits lately who are suggesting that the broadcast and cable news networks are purposely laying off the media consolidation issue. That is a heap of rubbish.

Old Folks Boogie: Reader's Digest is so old school that when you read stories about them tightening the belt, the first instinct is to think: trouble. Think the old building up on the hill off a two lane road in Westchester is just not hip enough to understand the cutthroat world of big magazine circulation and high finance.

And I Will Not Wear Those Ugly A**ed Shoes: O.J. Simpson is preparing for his debut as the star of his own "Osbournes"-esque reality show. Fort Worth, Texas-based Urban America Television Network said it will distribute a 13-week series about the former football great -- who was acquitted of the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman in 1995 -- to its 75 independent broadcast TV station affiliates starting in June.

TimeWarner: It ain't AOL TimeWarner anymore. That's what yesterday's surprising results told Wall Street as well as Madison Avenue.

Measure This: Over the past two weeks I think I've heard just about every side of the Upfront debate. At this point it sounds to me like this whole deal is like one of those scratchy loofah sponges: it doesn't feel so good when you're doing it, but it will give you a healthy glow later.

Rolling Seventeen: I think there's probably Seventeen reasons Wenner Media should buy Seventeen magazine, as has been rumored. I won't be so glib as to list all of them.

Reese's Pieces: I am somewhat ashamed of what I did this weekend. In short I allowed, wait a minute, I paid for my family to go to a brand boot camp.

Big Enough: As a rule, I don't like business consolidation. So when I see that WPP is combining divisions at the rate of one every five days, I get concerned.

What's In A Name? Plenty. AOL TimeWarner has three distinct companies included on its corporate moniker now, and its time to drop one.