Imagine a team of Tarantino-directed ninjas, all dressed in fashionable black and rappelling into phone stores screaming, "Aiyee! Kill iPhone!" That pretty much sums up the state of the wireless market on this first anniversary of the phone launch heard around the world as everyone else chases that iPhone mojo.

The press release for the official Church of Scientology Video Channel claims that through the portal "people the world over can easily obtain the complete answer to the most often asked question: What is Scientology?" However, the most often asked question about Scientology seems to be, "How did you turn smiley little Joey Potter into a super-creepy Stepford-wife robot cult member?" With hubby Tom Cruise already cackling all over YouTube and one of Anonymous' videos getting close to 3 million views, the COS needed to do some triage. The launch of its YouTube channel touts a "commitment to open communication." …

The sight of an actress doing something bizarre isn't something you'd think would shock the American public anymore, but when it's Isabella Rossellini in a snail costume pooping wetly onto her own face before making sadomasochistic love to a fellow gastropod, well, that's the sort of thing that makes a person stand up and take notice. This star turn - and seven others, including roles as a fly, bee and praying mantis - comprise the short film series "Green Porno," commissioned by the Sundance Channel and available for viewing at sundancechannel.com/greenporno.

America: Founded on mountains of meat, rivers of milk and going to 11. At least if new food industry ads are to be believed. A new campaign from the California Milk Processor Board, the Got Milk? people, centers on a mythical rock god named White Gold and his back-up band, the Calcium Twins. He was once a scrawny homeless man, the legend goes, until a milk-wielding angel nursed him from the teat of a milk-filled guitar. Thirsty yet?

Gay men are obsessed with large penises. Mexicans would really like their half of the country back. And now that we have your attention, please buy our vodka.

Every spring, communications professionals from all over the world trek to the high desert above Sante Fe and gather in dark rooms where, after seemingly endless deliberation, it is decided which creative from the previous year is worthy of recognition. Meet the jury for the Clio Awards.

Look out your window: it's summer outside. While most Americans look forward to warmer weather, taking days off from work and spending more time in the sun, many marketers can't risk taking a vacation from selling their products and services. And it requires a bit more than toting a BlackBerry to the beach. Marketing during the summer is especially crucial for many competitive categories and understanding how consumer behavior changes. And acting upon it can add the needed efficiency, reach and impact that help a communications plan achieve a competitive advantage.

Can we agree that there is nothing more frustrating than discovering something better, cheaper or more attractive than the item you just bought? Thanks to the power of behavioral targeting, I had this experience recently after buying a car. The ad engines rapidly caught on to the fact that, over a period of about two weeks, I was in the market for a new family car.

Besides changing the way people connect to each other, the social media revolution is also changing advertising research. When considering social media, personal communication technology such as social networks, handheld devices and digital video cameras get the most attention because they enable consumers to create their own Web content with increasing ease. Yet that is only half the picture.

Wenda Millard, one-time Head of Sales at Yahoo and now president of media for Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, is not only one of the best advertising executives in the history of interactive media, but one of the most provocative. This spring she gave an important speech to the IAB annual meeting, warning that media companies were selling Web inventory as if they were "pork bellies."