• by Beverly Weinstein , June 9, 2009

You're a senior level executive and your job was great, it was challenging, you knew what was expected, and then suddenly you have a new boss. Overnight, everything changes. Priorities are shifted, new procedures are instituted and it seems every day brings new frustrations. You vacillate between anger and depression but mostly you wonder if this situation will ever improve.

As soon as you realize it's up to you and not your boss to make it better, the faster it will be. That's the advice of Cynthia Hayes, a New York-based leadership coach.

"The higher up you are in an organization, the harder it is to cope with a transition to a new boss," explained Hayes. "Senior executives generally accept a new position based on who he or she will be working for. When someone new comes in it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under you." In contrast, she added, "When a more junior employee decides on a job it's more about wanting to work for a particular company or in a particular role."

Hayes explained that losing an old boss and getting a new one can set off a series of emotions. It begins with a sense of loss and grieving, moves to anger and depression but ultimately the goal is to move as quickly as possible to acceptance.

New Boss: Is it the end of life as you know it?

According to Hayes, the first emotion your likely to feel is grief.

"The grief is related to the fact that you're letting go of something. Even if you didn't love your job, you knew what your job meant and what the boundaries were. Change to a new boss is an end to the life you knew."

Get Mad but Get Over It

From grief you go to anger.

"You start with stability and then change is inflicted. You don't know how to act now that there's a whole new set of rules." Hayes acknowledges the importance of being able to vent your anger but suggests that you deal with it as quickly as possible. "Whenever there's a change we tend to glorify the old. It's helpful to make a list of all the things you didn't like about how things were. You'll probably realize it wasn't so golden after all."

"Now think about the positives in the new situation, no matter how minor they may seem," she says. "In addition, finding the good traits in your new boss can help move you into a positive mindset. Consider that one benefit is having a fresh set of eyes to look at things. There's personal growth to be gained in developing skills in how to deal with someone new."

Make It Work

Hayes cautions against taking the attitude that it's your boss' responsibility to make things work. It's important to take responsibility for accepting the change. "Become an active participant in making the change work for you." If your boss is coming from outside the company, he or she has a myriad of things to digest and may not be as communicative initially as they will be later. "The more you can do to make it easy for your boss, the easier it will be for you."

But, I Wanted That Job!

If you thought you should have had your old boss' job, you're feeling a double sense of loss. In cases where you didn't get the promotion, you're probably more likely to get stuck in the anger phase, Hayes says. "It's even more important to understand the strengths your new boss is contributing if he or she has been chosen over you." She added, "It's generally an indication that something is missing in your bag of tricks. This is an opportunity to learn from your new boss about those skills so that you're better positioned for the next opportunity."