• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, August 1, 2005

Nicole Who?

Just when you were about to give up on the government, or at least hope that they stay out of the TV measurement and cookie business, comes word that a federal judge has ordered former football star O.J. Simpson to pay $25,000 in damages for pirating satellite television signals from DirecTV. Guess the tight-fitting glove trick doesn't play in Florida.

"We'll Sue Those File Swapping Motherf...., uh, never mind."

According to a report by a UK digital music research firm, people who illegally swap files on the Internet typically spend about four and a half times as much on legal music as those who do not. "There's a myth that all illegal downloaders are mercenaries hellbent on breaking the law in pursuit of free music," researcher Paul Brindley told the BBC. "In reality, they are often hardcore fans who are extremely enthusiastic about adopting paid-for services, as long as they are suitably compelling." On the other hand, Limewire returns highly satisfactory search results compared to any single pay-for-play music service.

I Didn't Even Know I Had an Account in North Dakota

A study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project finds that 70 percent of Internet users never heard of phishing, or aren't sure that it refers to e-mail scams that try to trick users into revealing sensitive information by masquerading as a legitimate bank or credit card issuer. But they got that cookie thing all figured out--right, Walt?

Log Entry: "I Don't Recall, Too Busy Filling Out Log Book."

Nielsen will now be interrupting Nielsen people meter users every 42 minutes, reminding them to register their viewing. Previously, interruptions would occur only when the channel was changed. And you can be sure it won't be during a commercial break.

Why Not?... It Works on Income Tax Forms

When subscribers to online newsletter WXPnews were asked: "Is it fair for Web sites providing free content to ask for your name, e-mail address, and other personal info in return for accessing their sites?" some who didn't think so suggested using a fax number or entering a "555" number like they use in the movies, or another nonexistent number such as 111-111-1111. Moreover, several said that they lie about their household income, selecting a much lower income so advertisers won't be interested in them. Clearly, they never saw a chia pet ad.

50 Billion Channels and Nothing to Watch

The only real shocker in the latest Pew Internet & American Life Project study about teen use of the Internet is that 13 percent of U.S. teens do not use the Internet. About half (47 percent) of those who don't go online say they have been online before, but dropped off. Too many pop-ups.

Think of It: 168 Hours of Fawlty Towers!

Good news: British start-up Promise TV has developed a DVR that can record and index an entire week's worth of British digital-television programming. Bad news: You can't set it to record only your favorite shows. Wonder what kind of banner ad we'll see when we fast forward for two hours?

I Just Did 12 Spins... I'm Going to DisneyWorld

Coming on the heels of the Sony BMG payola settlement, New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer's investigators have found countless other instances where record companies provided vacation trips, computers, cash, and other considerations in exchange for airplay. Anybody that has to listen to Christina Aguilera a dozen times a day deserves a laptop!