I've never said I'm the most mature person in the world, which is why I snickered and tittered gleefully when, in response to the question "So, what election parties are you hitting?" I said, "I'm going to the NAKED election party." The statement is two parts immature, one part erroneous -- since it was actually a Photon party.

It's hard for me to hear you today. I know, I'm trying, but I went to three election parties last night, ending with the 23/6 fiasco (come on, everyone just keeps referring to it as the Huffington Post party), and I'm a little under the weather. I thought about clumping all three events together in one shotgun blast of an election post, but then I grinned sadistically and decided it's more fun to saturate you with three separate posts, tsunami style. Come with me, if you dare, to election cocktails at Cain, courtesy of Yahoo.

Another typical Monday night in Manhattan; getting yelled at by that guy on the corner of 22nd and Broadway, narrowly missing an unidentified object on the sidewalk, deleting the massive amount of "hey, are you coming to ad:tech today?" emails from people who probably don't care if I am or not, and a "VIP Mix & Mingle" at Jay Z's 40/40 Club. I couldn't sift out who was actually throwing this multi-sponsored party in a cave, but I like the unknown. When things are unfamiliar, that means for once (and it's been awhile) the human scenery might actually be different

The last time I was at Tonic, it was for a friend's 22nd birthday party last year. It was fun, but it's never my go-to place. I mean, come on, why would I forego my knitting circle or pre-AARP prep courses? But seriously, I was surprised to see that a business would select the location to host its post OVAB-Digital Media Summit cocktail wind-down. As I approached, the sizzling red "Tonic" sign gave me flashbacks to foregone shots and as I waited for my +1 to show up, I realized I had no clue what kind of party this was …

With the slew of ear-bleeding concerts, fresh (never NOT fresh) CMJ showcases with a little web site launch tied in, I'll bet you've been asking yourself; "Self, when am I going to see a good chicken-finger-mini burger- networking schmooze fest?" I hear you loud and clear, you tiny-food-loving, veggie-tray-scraping media freaks! Which is why I went out not once, but twice, into the dark of night with a building cold the size of Sarah Palin's original "wedding hair" do (not showing you my political affiliation, simply making a coif observation) to hit the ContentNext mixer. Oh yes, they called it …

You don't have to like Perez Hilton (born Mario Lavandeira). You don't even have to admit that you might just head over to his blog when you hear a juicy celebrity rumor. It's fine, I lived in secrecy for a stretch of time, too. Then I embraced the fact that sometimes, it's really fun to numb your noggin with Britney's shaved head when the noise of reality gets to be too explosive. And hey, since his evil beginnings, the self-proclaimed gossip gangsta (and piler of money due to selling every inch of his blog as ad space) has toned down …

Another day, another dollar -- but not for some. Don't think that while mags are folding (according to Gawker, RADAR is chucking everyone today), newspapers are cutting, and agencies are laying off by the dozens that I'm blind to it. Of course I see it, of course it makes my stomach hurt for people losing their jobs. What am I doing is my job, and that is to hopefully entertain you, employed or otherwise, with the not-so-heavy (even though I'm getting heavier from it) side of our industry. Maybe when you've had your depressing fill of layoff trackers and breaking …

Have you ever been to New Orleans? I went around the Fourth of July a couple of years ago and I remember being soaked with music. You could just skip from door to door and get a fresh dose of the good stuff. Music is connective tissue. It keeps you grounded in the moment or instantly transports you to a time you almost forgot with just a few bars. Well, it looks like the historically rich and culturally diverse New Orleans still needs help -- and they need help saving their music scene. BlackBook rose to the occasion with their …

CMJ is shaping up to be my favorite most painless busy week ever. Last year I saw a great show at Cake Shop because The Boy(friend) is in music. The band was Pride Tiger and I remember thinking "now this is a show." People were crammed and tucked all around the band (set up right there on the floor), sweating. Awesome venue. Now I've got my own "ins," and it's not a bad gig, I tell ya. Last night's Showcase-doubling-as-launch-party was at Sullivan Hall, a wide yawning mouth of a venue reminiscent of middle school skate parties. And this morning, …

See what you people make me do? I get all self-conscious about actually mentioning the name of a show because of complaints about cocktail wieners. Well, that -- and the fact that someone's soup-Nazi spam filter bounced Just An Online Minute because of the presence of the word "totally," made me think twice about slapping the Itchy B up there in the headline. Today I'm hitting you with some good old-fashioned, starting-at-the-bottom, online radio show launch party action. What radio show do I speak of? Well it's none other than "The Happy Hour Show with Leslie and Tori." And if …