Garfield hates Mondays, The Boomtown Rats aren't sure why they don't like Mondays, so please tell them. The only Mondays I like are the ones just before holidays breaks where everyone is cranky, but jazzed up with the pending time off. And in the case of MediaPost yesterday, the whole crew eagerly blazed through the day, trying to can everything before our 3 p.m. holiday start time.

The best way to describe the SocialVibe Social Digital Happy Hour -- or the Happy Social Digital Hour hosted by President Joe Marchese, featuring the SocialVibe crew is, well, fratty. But not in the "we'll sleep with your girlfriend and maybe your hot mom while she's in town and oh, how do you feel about constant spanking with wooden paddles on the weekend and oh, that's totally normal, hang on I have to throw up from doing a keg stand for breakfast" way. No, no, I'm talking about the guys who volunteer with kid's charities, take your mom out for …

Holiday party season in the land of digital media and advertising (and schmoozing and boozing) is winding down. The open bars are closing, the mini burgers are heading back to their stables, the nondenominational vague messages of potential joy in December are finding their way back into our personal lives, as our professional lives wrap up 2010. Last night Mashable threw their own holiday hootenanny at the Hotel Roger Smith, with portions of ticket proceeds going to the Association to Benefit Children (ABC). Lots of nerds converged on the bizarre penthouse floor for, well, whatever nerdlings get together to do.

Wrist tickling white gloves, tweed jackets, bowler hats and fedoras, squared ties, tulle, bright red lips, and ...well... a wig. That's what last night wore. Last night also came armed with club sandwiches, a bathtub filled with roses, a head-to-toe mirrored bathroom, and yes, the completion to any party: people who are too special to be photographed. But don't you worry, nothing put a damper on this Draper evening -- this evening that was the Tremor Media holiday party.

Today, as I sit at my desk looking out the 4th floor windows here on Broadway and 26th, watching workers install window while precariously unattached to anything harness-wise, I am wincing. Why wincing? Well, see, I have a little black-and-blue stripe along my left arm and it's perfectly placed on the spot that tends to rest on my laptop when I type. Also, my upper back and right butt cheek feel like they were folded up into a "Star Wars" sleeping bag and twisted into Lady Gaga's hair bow. Why these strange aches and pains, you wonder? Oh, you know, …

For many of you (the ones I hate for updating your Twitter and Facebook statuses with such things), this is your final week of work. Isn't that cute? A lot of you are spending these final days of 2009 attending your own company holiday parties (hopefully NOT clothing-optional), many of which have popped up all over town, much to my surprise! I was expecting a quiet party season this year what with all the depressing economic news, but maybe because everyone has been so beaten up, companies are giving their employees a chance to cut loose, ove indulge, and get …

Wah wah wahhhh, I was so tired yesterday. It wasn't from party coverage either, but I'm sure that played a small role in the insomnia that rendered me zombie-like all day. In fact, I was so lethargic I wanted to cry at the thought of making not one, but two parties last night. "Hmm," I pondered, "Maybe I'll just skip the PRNewser Holiday Party, take a nap, and then hit the Mr. Youth party." As the day wore on it became clear that if I went home and got cozy, there was NO WAY I would make it back out. …

Let's just get this out there right away: Mr. Youth threw the best holiday party I have ever been to. EVER. You read that right. The. Best. If you're an event planner for your company, this is your "how to" manual, and I am your guide. I accept flowers, pizza, and baby French bulldogs as thank-yous. So what are the necessary elements to make your next party record-making?

Yesterday's 29th Annual MUSE Awards ran the entire emotional spectrum with surprisingly crass (awesome!) jokes courtesy of Linda Kaplan Thayer, sneak-up tears from three honorees, and a surprise guest that audibly thrilled the audience, but did not garner as much applause as Freixenet drowned in for being the MUSE champagne and wine sponsor for 17 years. It's hard to compete with liquid lunch

I was so hot when I left the VEVO Launch Party that I didn't even put my coat and scarf on until I was on the sidewalk outside Skylight Studios. I quickly zipped my camera into my bag... just in time for Bono to walk by me so closely I could have picked his nose. Yarg! Coated and scarved I hopped back on the C and headed up to Broadway and 61st for the Buddy Media Holiday party, whose theme this year was "checking things off the list" I was afraid that because of Lady GaGa I had missed the …