• Junior Kardashians Invest Gillette Video With Gravitas
    I think the media, the Internet, the Emmy voters, the State Department paper-pusher in charge of ambassador appointments, and the global academic community -- especially those catty cultural anthropology grad students -- have been too quick to dismiss the Kardashians. When I hear the claims that they manufacture drama for the sake of the cameras and that they're less a family than a commercial enterprise, I'm all like, "Jealous much???" I mean, who among us wouldn't want to toe carpets red and plush, to slap our name/imprint on jewelry and floor waxes and depilatories, to tweet thoughts as deep as …
  • "Growing Up and Getting Out" Lacks Humor, Despite A Funny Cast
    This shouldn't have to be said, by me or by somebody who actually has some clue what he's talking about, but casting funny people in your video does not, as if by sprinkling a magical comic elixir, make your video funny. Case in point: "Growing Up and Getting Out," the "funny" series/sweepstakes rolled out by KFC and Comedy Central to promote the chain's new McNuggety foodstuffs.
  • "Meet The Superhumans" Ideally Promotes Upcoming Paralympic Games
    Forget the hoops, gymnastics, swimming, chasing of steeples and Vegas bombast of the opening ceremonies - I'm tuning in to the Summer Olympics for the stories, man. I long to learn about the orphanage-reared handballer who triumphed over homelessness, poverty, addiction, obesity, anorexia, bullying, pollen allergies, bad hair, smoking, sassing one's elders and chronic tardiness; about the trampoliner who fell off the trampoline that one time and hurt his arm but somehow mustered the courage to get back on the trampoline; and about the equestrian dressager who had to overcome the emotional disrepair inflicted by a slightly distant father. I …
  • "Don't Major in Debt" Is A Must See PSA for All Students
    In the [mumbles into sleeve, sounds air horn] years since I completed my education, costs have spiraled way the hell out of control, to the extent that I'm already bracing myself for my infant son's cost-effective pursuit of a career in the sweeping of chimneys. That's why we need more web resources like the ones rolled out earlier this week by the National College Finance Center and more video-intensive campaigns like "Don't Major In Debt." Using simple terms (and often simple math), both programs break down the largely theoretical nature of college loans for a generation of grads, students and …
  • Jive Creates Entertaining Video That Fails To Inform Users About The Company
    It was roughly ten years ago that a crack team of bureaucrats and behavioral therapists declared me constitutionally unfit for office duty. Owing to a handful of sins against community - neglecting to lid my Beefaroni before reheating it, refusing to make small talk about the winter cold/spring pollen/summer heat/autumn pleasantness - I was blacklisted from employment at any venue that would place me within farting distance of other human beings. While I haven't entirely fallen into freelance disrepair - I equate pants, and the donning thereof, with dignity - it's been a lonely, if professionally satisfying and hyperproductive, last …
  • "Get Hybrid: The Mattress Rap Song" is Good, But Pointless
    As consumers of Internet marketing dreck, we've reached a point where, at least in theory, nothing sounds too stupid or outlandish. Save for peppering their videos with saucy jokes about the prophet Muhammad, marketers can only do so much to provoke a reaction. Collectively, we might have passed the point of jadedness saturation; if we expended a smirk on every piece of content that merited one, our faces would be creased like an envelope.
  • Extended, Exclusive Mitsubishi Electric Cooling & Heating Spot is Anything But
    May I make a modest proposal? Let's do away with the notion of "Internet exclusive" in reference to marketing leftovers slopped on the web. TV ads and related interchangeable content have more potential viewership on the Internet than they do spread thinly across 32 basic-cable shows, a sizable percentage of which are rendered marketing-free via the miracle of DVR ad-vanishing. The only content that can make a legit claim to exclusivity are terrestrial-radio spots, which can't get repurposed and re-larded for after-the-fact web consumption, because they lack pretty videopictures and whatnot.
  • Ford's User-involved Focus Effort Is Clever And Unique
    Upon seeing a press notice touting user-shot footage included in a new Ford Focus ST campaign, I was all ready to get my pants up in a gander (is that a workable idiom for frustration? It is now.). I started raging, for the 3,462,225,374th time, about the insanity of a company loosing its death grip on the branding/marketing reins by giving needy consumers some say in the matter. I began sketching out my 370th letting-Joe-Consumer-have-a-hand-in-your-marketing-is-stupid-because-Joe-Consumer-is-stupid-and-does-stupid-things-like-fix-the-toilet-with-a-blowtorch-and-polish-his-toenails-with-Wite-Out screed.
  • Canada's Summer-Themed Campaign Misses Its Mark, But Visit Anyway. Trust Me.
    Over the years, I've had the amazing fortune to spend portions of my summers in Canada. Won over by the low-key vibe and high-culture diversions, I've always tried to sell it to those who would be inclined to go the water-park route instead: "Dude, the heat is a non-factor, the natural landscapes are pristine and if you need emergency surgery, they'll pick up the entire tab and give you a sexy-nurse escort to the border." If there are nicer places on this or any other planet to visit during the summer, I haven't made their acquaintance.