• Fusion Network Scores With "We Wrote You A Song To Tell You About Ourselves"
    Halloween in the 'burbs is a different animal than it is in the big city. There, I donned a single ingenious costume ("person inside deadbolted and unlit apartment, who hopes the noise from the TV can't be heard by anyone who would bogart my Reese's stash"). Out here, by contrast, I feel a responsibility to rise to the sublime celebratory standards set by the community. To that end, I purchased exactly four pumpkins and have displayed them proudly at the foot of the front door. And, of course, I spent the week - graceless-segue-into-bulk-of-column alert - checking out brands' seasonal ...
  • Ford Fiesta Fails With 'Running of the Bulls' Video
    There are many reactions that Ford would like to prompt in viewers who happen upon the company's Fiesta Movement campaign. The company would like them to feel attitudinal kinship with the Fiesta Agents, a group of selfie-shootin' twenty-somethings tasked with championing the cause one Vine at a time. It wouldn't mind if they, you know, remotely entertained the possibility of buying a car. But most of all, it seems, Ford wants viewers to walk away feeling that the Fiesta is bold, bright and nimble enough to house the life-affirming forces of their own enormous personalities. "You've got a big honking ...
  • A Family Reunited In Google's "Homeward Bound"
    This week, man. My football team continued on its season-long quest to boost opponents' self-esteem, the deli guy misheard a request for tuna as "tofu," a bungled Java update temporarily robbed me of access to my favorite time-waster and the postal service couldn't handle the task of ferrying my sister's birthday card to a destination 35 miles away in fewer than four days. Collectively, these misfortunes left me feeling sad and small. To the multitudes reading this dispatch from mud huts in sub-Saharan villages ravaged by malaria, I thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
  • Where Was The Enthusiasm For Diana Nyad's "Swim For Relief?"
    I've reached the point in my "career" as an "athlete" where the ultimate goal of my daily runs is not to incur bodily harm during them. Earlier this week, when a pair of leafy twigs materialized in my path, I did the only sensible thing: turned around, dashed home and called 911. During this morning's excursion around the neighborhood - lo, but three hours ago! - I found myself confronted by a street gang of feral geese that had breakfast-y designs on my thighs. It took all the courage I have left (if rendered tangible, this would fit comfortably inside ...
  • Bushmills' "Breaking Boise" Breaks Bad
    Which brings me to the most recent of what I expect will be numerous heat-seeking brand volleys that lean on actors who brought Breaking Bad to such vivid life, Bushmills' "Breaking Boise." The great Aaron Paul, sure winner of the 2013-2014 Emmy for Achievement in Anguished Wailing, became the most recent "Since Way Back" campaign spokesfella a month or so ago (curiously, not long after appearing in an extended Ciroc vodka spot with Omar and Billy Batts). Unfortunately - for Bushmills, not for the ascendant Paul - "Breaking Boise" arrives at almost the precise moment that Breaking Bad fatigue is ...