I couldn't be happier to learn that my business-travel hotel of choice has modestly progressive taste in music. That's the main takeaway from three brand videos recently debuted by Renaissance Hotels as part of the chain's "it's business unusual" campaign, in which it attempts to lure business travelers - right up there with bomb defusers and jittery matriarchs in terms of their love of surprises - with the promise of quirky, edgy experiences. This makes perfect sense in my world, where the sky is orange and the grass is also orange, as are the oranges.

Today's column will be an interpretive exercise of sorts. I will sort through the scraps on my desk and attempt to make sense of the jottings thereon. Then I will vacuum. Let's do this.

Alright, no time for a beat-around-the-bush/mock-own-hair-and-obliviousness-and-inability-to-match-socks intro here today. There's another haute couture brand video and, like the ones that came before, it plays like a combination of a Saturday Night Live parody and an overfunded student film. How does this keep happening? Who's paying for this crap? To answer these and other pressing questions upon which the fate of western civilization hinges, let's take a time-stamp-happy look at "Dior Sauvage - The New Fragrance (Official Director's Cut)."

Hi, everybody! I'm out this week, so welcome to the first edition of "It's New 2 U: Critique Classiq." This one is from October 2012 - a time of innocence, a time of confidences, a time when Facebook mistakenly thought it had to devote some of its attention to self-branding. Enjoy! Or re-enjoy!