Called "Monolith," this was one heavy-handed, overwrought episode, written by Erin Levy. Heavy on M's (the moon, Mona, Mona Lisa, The Mets) big lunar symbolism, and the show's official theme, death, it offered as much of a meta-commentary on "Mad Men" itself as a new storyline.

Last week, when Sally mentioned that she'd stay at her prep school "till 1975 if that would put Betty in the ground," I thought she was being cruel. After this week, I wanted to hand her a wire hanger with which to strangle her Mommie Dearest.

One day, Don Draper sleeps past noon, crawls out of bed, and discovers that he's a giant insect. Oh, wait. That's Franz Kafka's "Metamorphosis." This is Matt Weiner's "Mad Men." Same difference: both operate in a random, chaotic universe without any real sense of order or justice.

In one of the least expected openings in "Mad Men" history, "Time Zones" begins with Freddy Rumsen addressing us directly. Of all the gin joints in all the towns! Yes, that Freddie Rumsen, the former copywriter/ drunk who peed his pants before a client meeting and was put on "leave" from Sterling Cooper; the guy who gave Peggy her first break. "Are you ready?" Freddy asks. "This is the beginning of everything."

They had me at "Hasidic wedding." That's one of the rapid-fire jokes made during the opener of HBO's new comedy series, "Silicon Valley."

Pardonnez-moi, mes cheries. I come not to pile on GM at this painful moment of possible million-car recall -- but rather, to praise "Poolside." Created by Rogue as a "brand provocation" for the Cadillac ELS, it's an unforgettable spot, starring actor Neal McDonough as a brash, flame-haired man without pity.

The April, 2014 issue of "Vogue" hit newsstands yesterday, proving that the Kim/Kanye cover portrait, so instantly ridiculed on social media last week, was not some fake meme, but rather, for realz. Of course, reality -- along with such terms as "celebrity," "success" and "fashion" -- are slippery concepts, especially with this crowd.

"I'll take potent potables 'n strange celebrity brews for $200, Alex." Answer: "The Ukraine, 'That '70s Show,' and Jim Beam Whiskey." The Question: "Who is Mila Kunis?"

It's deliciously fitting that Matthew Weiner, the exacting creator of "Mad Men," chose designer Milton Glaser to create the promotional poster for the AMC series' seventh season, beginning April 13. As the designer of the original 1967 Bob Dylan's "Greatest Hits" poster, Glaser's work became the defining image of the time. That poster, in turn, greatly influenced the graphic design and ad worlds of the late 1960s, the time Weiner has so convincingly recreated with the show.

Still on a post-Oscars, Samsung-mega-selfie/poignant-botched-surgery/did-that-thing-on-Travolta's-head-perhaps-invade-his-brain bender? Then take a look at this new milk commercial. With its "Milk Life" tagline, and corny vignettes involving perversely spurting bodily fluids, it is so head-scratchingly bad, it'll sober you right up.